Well guys and girls.....Have a great, and safe Halloween..........
Watch out for the kiddies...........................................................





Nice pumpkin , but I like mine scary.........................................
like ↓............................................................................................






Now thats a scary pumpkin...........................................................

Oh, My..A pirate............................................................................

And there's Santa.....................................................................

Bat squirrel ? "Holy Batcave...Bat man".....................................

I don't know as I would say too much.......................................







♠ When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Sam if he would share the resultswith his wife.

"That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,' " he said.

"And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for $798,000."




♠ I noticed a guy yesterday opening the car door for his wife.

I guess she must have come into some money.




♠ On a university exam, students were asked to explain the difference between ignorance and apathy.

The professor had to give an "A" to the student who wrote "I don't know and I don't care."




♠ Bobbie was giving a small dinner party at her apartment, when suddenly there was a flutter at the open window.

A stray pigeon had plunked onto the ledge and was eying the group curiously.

"Oh, hello," piped Bobbie. "Any messages?"




~~~Dave, google..."Blue Ridge Tunnel"...

Good Morning.....Everybody doing O.K. ? We're fine here.......






Is! ....Kinda scary....Huh?.................







A super Hero?........................






I don't know what this is supposed to be?....








Kinda funny, If you ask me.....








Hell,...I thought it was funny looking....










What ??.....................











I don't know about you.....but I'm hiding......






♣ A very worried farmer called up his vet and reported.
"That old mare of mine is really sick this time. She can only stand on her feet for about fifteen minutes at a time.
Is there anything I can do with her?"
"Yes" said the vet.
"The next time she's standing up, sell her."




♣ In the line-up at the store, I overheard the checker ask the lady in front of me if she had an air miles card.
"Oh, yes," she said. "I have enough air miles to get to Philadelphia, where my son lives."
"That's wonderful," said the cashier.
"My son doesn't think so," the lady replied.
"I don't have enough to get back."




♣ Mark listened from the other room as his wife Sherry patiently said to their two-year-old, "Please pick up your toys, Wyatt."
After a few minutes, Sherry again reminded their son.
Finally Sherry asked, "Why aren't you picking your things up?"
Mark rolled his eyes when he heard Wyatt answer, "I'm playing house and I'm the dad, so I don't know where anything goes."




♣ The Heineken Uncertainty Principle: You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.




♣ After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face.
My idea is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

Good Morning.....Sunshine! A cool morning............................
We're having a cold spell...for a couple day's anyway..............







At lease the Kid's happy...............................







I don't need a mask for Halloween...








Damn! You woke me up for this? Trick or What ?..................








Taking my bike and riding off into the sunset...........................










Would you just look what I gotta wear....Some people just don't care!!









You knows I don't give a hoot!...... Ize got my buddy..............






♥ Hillary Clinton is upset right now with a columnist from The Washington Post's "Fashion" section.
The columnist pointed out that Hillary showed a little cleavage during a speech. Who'd have ever thought a controversy involving a Clinton and cleavage would be about Hillary?.






♥ Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving, Easter, and other special occasions; when he typically would say a long prayer over the food.

♥ One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, Grandfather (to our son's surprise) asked a very brief blessing on the food.
With a gleam in his eye, our son grinned at his grandfather and said, "You don't pray so long when you're hungry, do you Grandpa?"






♥ A university student, I was working for the summer as a tree planter in northern Minnesota.
One night my sleep was disturbed by a noise outside my tent.
A bear! Being an old hand at camping, I rattled a spoon in a cup.
The bear moved to the tent next to mine.
"Hey, Gus!" My neighbor called out. "It's a bear!".
"Don't worry," I replied. "Just keep rattling your cup.".
"C-c-cup?" He stammered.
"That's my t-t-teeth!".






♥ Desperate for a Halloween costume to wear to a party, my 35-year- old daughter had an inspired idea.
She put on a slinky black dress, fishnet stockings and balanced a small tabletop on her head.
On it was a lamp, a champagne glass and an ashtray with two cigarette butts.
She went as a one-night stand........................
And won first prize.






"Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night."

Good Morning.....Feeling Good, are ya/...








Yah...maybe you do, but the hairballs got me....







Ya goyya be happy go lucky like me...








I'm gonna show you what pretty looks like................................








I don't see anything....










Somebody's gonna be mad....







♠ Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions, everyone but the school bus driver.




♠ The function of the law is not to provide justice or to preserve freedom.
The function of the law is to keep those who hold power, in power.




♠ The average man's idea of a good sermon is one that goes over his head... and hits one of his neighbors.




♠ An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for "behavior modification reinforcers."
The principal saw the item and asked, "What in heaven's name is that?"
"Lollipops," the teacher explained.




♠ Television is a device that makes it necessary to wake up before you can go to bed.




♠ In this country the Constitution guarantees your right to free speech, but it doesn't guarantee that you'll have any listeners.

Good morning....Hope everyone had a great weekend.............
Sunday, turned out just great..









Leaves starting to change color...








A lot of the leaves are starting to fall...a pretty time,..Fall........








Maggie sez: she's prettier then any leaves...










Hey! Don't forget us.......we think we're pretty..........................









Yah....I'm the best looking guy here !...

I'm just getting in shape, so I can be good looking too!

♣ While serving in Special Forces overseas, my friend's son was wounded in action and evacuated to a U.S. military hospital in Germany..

My friend rushed over to see him, arriving in record time, and was by his bedside when he groggily awoke..

His first words when he spotted her sitting there: "Oh, darn! I must have really fouled up.

My mother's here!"

♣ You know you've reached your fitness goal when you're strong enough to pick up your exercise equipment and throw it out the window..

♣ Our daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all her music CDs..

I explained to her that CDs are sensitive to light and heat, so she shouldnot leave the holder in the sun..

During our home addition, the electrician was working in the backyard and Lili had gone to play in the sandbox, leaving her new CD holder on the patio table.

My wife saw it and told Lili she was going to put it in the house..

Lili stood up in the sandbox and said,"Mommy, put it where the sun don't shine!"

The electrician had to take a break..

♣ When the subject of marriage counseling came up, my uncle said, "Your aunt and I never needed any..

She was a communications major in college; I majored in theater arts."

"What's that got to do with a successful relationship?" I asked..

"She's good at communicating," he said, "and I'm good at acting like I'm listening."

♣ Eager to start a home-workout program, I popped a newly purchased exercise video into my VCR, only to discover the tape was defective..

I immediately drove back to the store and told the cashier, "This video doesn't work, and I'd like to get another."

Glancing at the shapely figure on the tape's box and then at me, she replied, "Well, honey, these things take weeks before they work."

Good Morning.....going to be a great Sunday morning..............







We want him bad.......now if this glass wasn't here...................






Ha...I got my dinner......

We're lookin,...we're lookin....









Mmmmm...fresh fish for breakfast........my fav..........................









Durn it, ..I found mine,....and now you guys want to take........










We see food.....but we can't get to it.....yet.................................
Closer....closer.....just a little closer...







♦ What do you call....a proctologist from Jamaica?
A poke ye man!




♦ what do you call a contortionist from the Philippines?
A manila folder




♦ A seven-year-old girl admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three other girls helped me catch him."




♦ A man goes into a bar very thirsty.
He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him.
The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink...then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink.
Wanting to try this new drink he says "I'll have a waterloo, too." The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink.
He takes a big drink and says "HEY! This isn't any good.
tastes just like water!"
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says "Well, it is water ...right, Lou?




♦ What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance.
They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life.
And most importantly, cookies.

Good Morning every one.... Well another weekend's here........
A rainy weekend at that....why am I underlined???..

I'm trying...I'm trying......

Hey....I'm all decked out....Getting ready for the ball.............

We're going to the saturday night dance. ready to dance...........

Always a mean one in the bunch......Cut him off!.....................

I gotta lose some weight......

I have nothing to say...I wouldn't sit there.................................

♠ For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

♠ A Real Man is someone who walks through life the way a pilot walks through an airplane.
Cool, calm, and checking out the sexy stews.
No matter how tough a situation gets a Real Man never lets on about the faulty landing gear.

♠ Sam, a pilot for a major airline, carries his running clothes in a backpack, freeing his hands for his luggage.
On one trip, he told me, he noticed passers-by grinning at him in the terminal. Sam smiled back.
Maybe some of them were on my last flight, he thought.
His ego was brimming until he got to the cockpit and stowed his bags.
That's when he saw the "Parachute" sign his co-workers had stuck to his backpack.

♠ "The horses of hope gallop, but the asses of experience go slowly."
(Russian Proverb)

♠ I got eczema, diarrhoea, gonorrhoea, and haemorrhoids last week.
First time I've ever won a game of Scrabble.

Good Morning...Every one..Getting ready for a rainy weekend.







Damn....this thing is butt ugley.........







Oppppps..scared me...







I'm lean, and I'm mean..I'll get it.....................








I'm ah hiddin........









Ize gotz him were Ize wants him.........

Oh...No...pow!

♣ Money still talks, but if the value of the dollar keeps dropping, it will be talking in a whisper.

♣ At the Greene county Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.

One of the chamber members stood up and said,"I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.

♣ "Today, there are three kinds of people: the have's, the have- not's, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have's."

♣ This well-meaning, but not particularly well-informed, girl volunteered to be a UNICEF fundraiser at our school.

Urging my class to be more generous, she pleated.

"Come on, guys......

How would you feel if your little brother or sister had UNICEF?"

Well now.....Good morning.....Hope everyone's o.k...................

I'm fine, except for "Rose bud" she's acting up.........................







Further Clarification: Yass is a town in Australia.






Somebody else can't spell......glad I got spellcheck.....................

But I still make mistakes...mistakes...mistakes...








Nice way to cool off on a hot day.........

Whatever floats your boat.........

What can I say, besides a rought ride....no traction ?

Now....This is traction, and power......

♣ ponder these.....

Seconds count, especially when dieting.

Stand up to be seen; speak up to be heard; shut up to be appreciated.

The only way Dad can get a few moments to himself on weekends is to start washing the family car.

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.

♣ A food manufacturer has come up with a way to make a fortune; he's putting out a breakfast food that drains the energy from kids.

♣ When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn't remember.

"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said.

"That could account for the engine running so rough."

"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.

"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.

"It cost the same as always," said the wife.

"I bought the usual forty dollars worth.".

♣ "Dear John, Thanks for your offer to initiate a campaign for the Presidency on my behalf.

I'd take you up on it but I like to mow my own lawn.

There are eighteen acres around the White House and if I lived there, I wouldn't have time to do anything else."
- Andy Rooney -