Wed. Jan. 16th. ~~~

Ready to go fishing ???
~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~. There are seven possible ways to warm your feet in February. Dipping them in the Caribbean is one. If you can afford that, forget about the other six. ~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~. At a concert in January 1997, Dave Matthews took to the stage with a note in hand. "I have a message from Bill who is in the 7th row," he announced. "This message is a request
It says 'Dave, PLEASE play 'Lover Lay Down' because if you play that, I will get laid by my girlfriend, Jill.'
"Hey Bill, I wrote the damn song," Matthews declared. "If anything, Jill and I should be gettin' it on tonight!"

Tues. jan. 15th. ~~~

I don't know about these guys..they spend alot of time in the corner.
Look out spot !!.
Get...ready........GOoooooo..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
what do you think....
*The barber did well at house breaking as he was good at cutting locks.

*I bought me some of those new paper shirts.
I don't like them - they're tearable.

*Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
*If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out? ~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~.
Quote......"The trouble with my wife is that she has a weight problem. Every time I want sex, she says, "Wait." -Rodney Dangerfield .

Mon. Jan. 14th. ~~~

The dog that'll get you.......ha ha

Damn....Bubba......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do you know what the best birth control in the world is?"
"No."
"That's right!"
Also; An asprin works very well also and is easy to use. Just hold it firmly between the closed legs!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why they call me "Crabby" It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If George Washington went to Washington wearing a white winter coat while his wife waited in Wilmington, how many W's are there in all?
None. There are no Ws in "all"

Sun. Jan. 13th. ~~~

Like I said...Same old...same old.......................
I know how you feel.................
That last "Bud" go to him...................

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall. "Oh, dear," he said, "whatever shall I do? I can''t afford a new set." "Don''t worry," said his friend. "I''ll get a pair from my brother for you."

The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly. "This is wonderful," said the man.

"Your brother must be a very good dentist." "Oh, he''s not a dentist," replied the friend, "he''s an undertaker."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life's greatest satisfactions include getting the last laugh, having the last word, and paying the last installment.

Sat. Jan. 12th. ~~~

Here's one for Carol.......
Yah....right !
I have nothing to add................

Sunrize.......

An't I cute..............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My son is the manager of a glass and window company

and ad- vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers.

Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased

when a man who called about the job said he had over

10 years of experience.
"Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked.

The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?
Free ham.

_______________________________________

Fri. Jan. 11th.~~~

500k....worth of chains don't make you cool.....bro.
I'm getting ready to vote...... lets see...who was it again.
I don't know about you....but I'm just hanging. ~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Irish brothers Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. Well they had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and a while before he passed away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea. Of course he did pass away and the "boys" remembered to keep their promise. So off they set with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowing boat.
After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?" Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to be standing in water up to his knees. "Dis'll never do Mick, let's row some more".After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up to his belly, so on they row. Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?" Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No dis'll neva do" .............The water was only up to his chest.
So on they row and row and row when finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears! Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath. "Well is it deep enuff yet,Paddy?"................... "Aye it tis! Can yer hand me da shovel."

Thurs.Jan.10th. ~~~

Clouds and colder weather movin in.....
Just restin................
What !..................

~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ In the men's room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink.It had a single word on it: "Think!"
The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "Thoap!" ~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ Adam Was Lucky! Reasons Adam Was The Luckiest Man:
* He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married. * He had no in-laws to drop in. * There were no Jones for him to keep up with. * There were no credit cards OR shopping centers. * He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen. * He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe. * He never had to shovel snow! * There was no "standard weight and height" tables -- and the word FAT meant good.

Wed. Jan. 9th.~~~

I recommend you don't even think of doing this !!
Damn what a way to go..........

Yah Pal!!...good luck.....

It's hard to believe.... 5:00 in the morning and it's 60 degrees, this time of year.. ~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ What's a man's idea of foreplay? A Half an hour of begging. ~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ "When I was a kid, I could toast a marshmallow over my birthday cake. Now I could roast a turkey!" ~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ A politician is a person who urges you to vote for him and then sends you a bill for doing it.

Hard to post like you want as the blog changes everything around. Also leaves words off. sometimes makes you mad...

Tues. Jan.8th. ~~~

I don't know if you should mess with her........

Another Janurary day in the 70's.........


Al's favorite toon also!!

These are my favorite toons... so I thought I would post them so others could enjoy them also...

~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~ Why shouldn't you throw plastic bags into the swamps in Louisiana?
Because the bags are not bayou degradable. ~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked. "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"
"Oh he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."
"That's nice," said the woman. "What about your son?"
"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!"

Mon. Jan. 7th. ~~~

I don't know this weather were having.....
Couple days ago it was in the 30's, yesterday it was
in the 65-70's, and today their calling for 70 - 75 degrees.

I guess this answers that age old question.... does a bear chit in the woods................

~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~

A man phoned a retail pharmacy to talk about his prescription. He said to the pharmacist, "My doctor ordered this prescription for me. Your store filled it and gave me a bottle with 100 capsules in it about two weeks ago. I'm supposed to take one capsule every six hours and I've been doing that. How ever,This little packet came out of the bottle while I was getting my capsule once.
The packet said, "do not eat" on it. That was four days ago, and I'm really hungry!" ~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~ Porsche is working on a hybrid SUV. A hybrid SUV with the Porsche name?? Perfect for a man in his midlife crisis who is married to a soccer mom.
A Porsche hybrid SUV sounds as marketable as a Hummer moped.

Sun. Jan.6th.~~~

Yep....Same old....Same old....Hold your nose

tighter when you vote.......

Hillery said..She has 8 years experience in the white house..
The White house cook has more then that....
makes him more experienced to be president??
Seems we only get the greedy.....as it makes them millionaires.
I don't think the good ones run.
O.K. ..O.K. I'll step down now......
~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~

You can encapsulate a marriage in four words. If a fellow gets married, but finds a temptation elsewhere, hears about it from his wife when she finds out, and finds himself served with papers, you can sum up the experience as: Hitched, Itched, Bitched, Ditched. ~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of women's panties on his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks. The day wore on; several VIP's were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on their face but no one dared ask about the President's personal business.
Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. "Mr. President," she said, "We've come to expect many unusual things from you, but we're quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of women's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more trouble."
"Oh no," the President grinned. "It's The Patch. I'm trying to quit."

Sat. Jan.5th.~~~

Hold your nose good and tight............
Gotta go ??????
Worlds tallest meeting worlds smallest....................
Don't fart.....It'll be a long walk back........
~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm beginning to understand exactly how the state lottery helps education," Gus told his neighbor,Pete . "Every time I buy a losing ticket, I get a little smarter."
~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~ During a training flight takeoff, as I was tightening a loose hydraulic connection, I suddenly saw that an engine was on fire. Wrench in hand, I turned, tapped the pilot calmly on the shoulder with it and told him, "We're on fire." He soon had us safely back on the ground. A short time later I was modestly explaining my great presence of mind in a trying situation to an admiring audience. Just then two medics passed with our pilot on a stretcher. Startled, I called out, "What's the matter with him?" "Broken shoulder!" was the reply.

Fri. Jan. 4th.~~~

Now if I had that, and they had a feather up there.... we would both be tickled.........
Yours too ?....................
Now thats a pothole...............

~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number, what does it mean?
A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.
B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
Washington, D.C .. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??~~~ (I thought a lot of money already went down there?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~
An attractive young med student was having coffee with her girlfriend and complaining about her fiance's extraordinary sexual appetites. "I barely have the strength to come to work in the morning," she murmured. "And now that he's on his vacation, things will probably be even more intense when he gets back." "How long is he off?" the assistant inquired. "It varies," she replied. "But usually it's just long enough to smoke a cigarette."

Thurs. Jan.3rd. ~~~

At first glance it looked O.k.....Then I looked again.
Hmmmmm?..You figure it out .......... I've got a headache.

Celebrating New Years in the UK..........
Pet Me..Pet Me.....

~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~ A Ukrainian businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Year gift was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post. The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened. With no more than a quarter mile to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman's fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post. After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a successful purchase!"

~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~ "Starbucks stores in Studio City and Sherman Oaks are considering a ban on Britney Spears. because of all the commotion and disruption to their customers caused when she pops into their shops. They've put up a new sign," No Shoes, No Shirt, No Underwear, No Service."

Wed. Jan. 2ad.~~~

Lets see you try this........
Not me !!...............

~~~~00~~~~

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a male cow?

A cock-and-bull story.

A Riddle:

What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?

*

*

Feet

I know...Iknow ....I Bad,

Tues. Jan 1~~~

PLEASE.....PLEASE.....................................................
Lookin for some resolutions I can keep....but no luck!!

~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy New Year!

Where in the world did this year go...

It seems it passed so fast. But here we are...2008...And 2007 is in the past!

May peace and love fill the earth...

May past sorrows fade away...

May the New Year bring joy to all...On each and every day.
Happy New Year to everyone...I hope your dreams come true.

A heart that's filled with happiness..Is the wish I wish for you!

For Linda;..--May your feathers be light on the wind.--