Today we're having, Partly sunny in the morning...
then becoming mostly cloudy.
Highs in the lower 40s.
West winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts up to 30 mph.
Well, did everyone enjoy the Holiday?
Now back to the grind..
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Tight fit.....
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♥♥♥
I wish all of you a happy new year.... we must not forget this
may be the last year.
It is a leap year, which means it may well be only 359 days
till we either melt, freeze, are attacked by aliens, or we just
enjoy a new beginning of humanity when most of mankind
is wiped out. So... here's the deal.
Can y'all loan me enough money for beer and viagra for
everyday until December 21?
I'll pay you back on December 22..... I promise..
may be the last year.
It is a leap year, which means it may well be only 359 days
till we either melt, freeze, are attacked by aliens, or we just
enjoy a new beginning of humanity when most of mankind
is wiped out. So... here's the deal.
Can y'all loan me enough money for beer and viagra for
everyday until December 21?
I'll pay you back on December 22..... I promise..
Sorry, but I just sent everything I could scrape up to a nice
man in Nigeria, who is going to help me retrieve an inheritance
that I didn't know I had over there.
☼
My New Year's resolutions are:
1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.
1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.
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An optimist stays up to see the New Year in.
A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
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My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup,
and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger
than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses
whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn
a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like
a brick.........
I think my dog is a member of Congress!
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup,
and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger
than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses
whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn
a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like
a brick.........
I think my dog is a member of Congress!
☼
An elderly couple visits a divorce attorney to file separation
papers.
"You're ninety-three and she's eighty-nine," said the lawyer.
"After all these years, why do you want to file now?"
"We thought is was best to wait until the children were dead,
" answered the man.
papers.
"You're ninety-three and she's eighty-nine," said the lawyer.
"After all these years, why do you want to file now?"
"We thought is was best to wait until the children were dead,
" answered the man.
☼
I am Death...
With his heavy reaper, Death raps hard on the door of a house
of a little old lady in her 90's.
He waits....... He raps harder on the door.
Finally the little old lady opens the door, looks up at the dark,
ominous figure and smiles.
In a cold, heavy, deep voice he says,
"I AM DEATH!"
The little old lady having pity on him says,
"That's ok, I'll speak up a little louder!"
With his heavy reaper, Death raps hard on the door of a house
of a little old lady in her 90's.
He waits....... He raps harder on the door.
Finally the little old lady opens the door, looks up at the dark,
ominous figure and smiles.
In a cold, heavy, deep voice he says,
"I AM DEATH!"
The little old lady having pity on him says,
"That's ok, I'll speak up a little louder!"
☼
One third of car crashes are due to drunk driving.
Which means two thirds of car crashes are caused by drivers
not drinking.
Think before you enter a vehicle.
If the driver is sober, enter at your own risk.
Which means two thirds of car crashes are caused by drivers
not drinking.
Think before you enter a vehicle.
If the driver is sober, enter at your own risk.
☼
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,
because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
☼
Every evening, a mother and her young son, knelt down
beside his bed so he could say his prayers.
One night, obviously bored with the same old prayer,
the little boy said this: "Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake......
can I have breakfast with you in the morning?"
beside his bed so he could say his prayers.
One night, obviously bored with the same old prayer,
the little boy said this: "Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake......
can I have breakfast with you in the morning?"
☼
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Todays Thought;
One of the big disappointments in life is that the person who
writes the advertising for the bank is not the one who makes
the loans.
writes the advertising for the bank is not the one who makes
the loans.
Rae's Trivia.....
Elizabeth Arden (1884)
Born in Canada as Florence Nightingale Graham, Arden moved to
New York City in 1907 and under her new name opened a beauty salon.
Her business became an international empire based on salons,
hundreds of "scientifically formulated" beauty products, and an
exclusive image—all packaged in her trademark pink.
Arden made makeup acceptable to "respectable" American women,
introducing them to eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick tinted to
match their outfits.
Born in Canada as Florence Nightingale Graham, Arden moved to
New York City in 1907 and under her new name opened a beauty salon.
Her business became an international empire based on salons,
hundreds of "scientifically formulated" beauty products, and an
exclusive image—all packaged in her trademark pink.
Arden made makeup acceptable to "respectable" American women,
introducing them to eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick tinted to
match their outfits.
º~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~º
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