A nice chilly 25º, this morning....
Partly sunny. Highs around 30º's today....
winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts up to 35 mph.
Good day for surfing...huh?
☼
☼
☼
♥♥♥
My boss phoned me today.
He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"
I said, "Yes, it's all under control.
It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.
I said, "Of course, what is it?"
He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome
behind you."
He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"
I said, "Yes, it's all under control.
It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.
I said, "Of course, what is it?"
He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome
behind you."
☼
On the first day of training for parachute jumping,
Pete listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at
300 feet.
Pete asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at
300 feet?"
"That's a good question.
When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of
people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, he asked,
"What happens if there's no one there I know?"
Pete listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at
300 feet.
Pete asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at
300 feet?"
"That's a good question.
When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of
people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, he asked,
"What happens if there's no one there I know?"
☼
This blonde turns on her computer one morning at work.
As it comes to life, suddenly smoke starts billowing out the
back.
Frantically, she calls tech support and asks,
"Are you guys having a fire down there?"
This blonde turns on her computer one morning at work.
As it comes to life, suddenly smoke starts billowing out the
back.
Frantically, she calls tech support and asks,
"Are you guys having a fire down there?"
☼
Q: Why did Bruce Wayne's date go badly?
A: Because he has BAT breath!
Q: Why did Bruce Wayne's date go badly?
A: Because he has BAT breath!
☼
Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the
church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s
business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, in accusing new-member
George after she saw his pickup truck parked all afternoon in
front of the town’s only bar.
Said Sarah, “Everyone seeing it there would just know that he
was an alcoholic!”
George, a taciturn sort, stared at her for a moment before
simply walking away, saying nothing.
Later that evening, George parked his pickup in front of
Sarah’s house.
And proceeded to leave it there all night.
church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s
business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, in accusing new-member
George after she saw his pickup truck parked all afternoon in
front of the town’s only bar.
Said Sarah, “Everyone seeing it there would just know that he
was an alcoholic!”
George, a taciturn sort, stared at her for a moment before
simply walking away, saying nothing.
Later that evening, George parked his pickup in front of
Sarah’s house.
And proceeded to leave it there all night.
☼
Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had
learned at Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a
pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked.
"Well, no.
But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
learned at Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a
pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked.
"Well, no.
But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
☼
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
☼
According to a survey "whatever" was the most
annoying word of 2011.
I can think of many words way more annoying than that,
such as Congress, Obamacare, etc.... You get the idea.
annoying word of 2011.
I can think of many words way more annoying than that,
such as Congress, Obamacare, etc.... You get the idea.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with
human ambition. - Carl Sagan
human ambition. - Carl Sagan
Rae's Trivia....
On December 4, St. Barbara Day, Czechoslovakians believe
that a young woman should place a cherry twig in a glass of water.
If the twig blooms by Christmas Eve, it foretells that she is certain
to marry in the next year.
that a young woman should place a cherry twig in a glass of water.
If the twig blooms by Christmas Eve, it foretells that she is certain
to marry in the next year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.