A little shower tonight... but no rain until monday evening...
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A healthy Breakfast....Pete??
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Got any Hot dogs??
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I don't know about the Poupon?
but I got some Bacon lip balm......
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Oh, no...not you again!!
No wonder it stinks today.....
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He want tuna... NOW!
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Napping in the warm Sun.....
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You got a great smile.....
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Three Bucks for a tooth??
Damn, all I got was a Quarter.....
and thought I was rich....
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The Hero always rides off in the Sunset...Right!!
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♥♥♥
~~ The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names.
She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian.
He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out.
The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write."
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~~ do you know why pygmies are so short?
they take walks on tuesday nights and that's when the
bluejays kick the elephants out of the trees
you thought i was going to say...they eat shortening, but
pygmies have never heard of shortening...
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~~ Warning....
My friend thought he was being funny by swallowing a
whole jar of protein powder.
Sadly he passed a whey.
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~~ Since my purchases came to $19.06,
I handed the cashier a twenty.
"Do you have six cents?" she asked.
"Sorry," I said after fishing around my pockets,
"I have NO cents."
"Finally," she muttered, "a man who can admit it."
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~~ I was talking with my girlfriend, Barbara.
I asked her, "Be honest, now, baby.
How am I as a lover?"
She replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're
warm."
"Really?" I said excitedly.
"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary
definition of the word 'warm.'"
I was very pleased until I went home and, just for fun of it,
checked my dictionary and found this,
"WARM: Not so hot."
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~~ Penguin walks into a pub and orders a pint of cider.
Barman thinks 'that's a bit strange' but serves him his
apples.
Penguin finishes his pint and asks for another.
Barman serves the penguin another pint.
Penguin says to the barman, "has my brother been in
today?"
Barman says "don't know mate, what does he look like?"
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~~ Having moved from the city to experience a small-town
atmosphere and the closeness neighbors develop,
my husband and I were disappointed when our home was
vandalized a couple of times.
Then early one morning, I left the house to go for a walk and
saw that my flowerpots were missing from the front steps.
I was furious.
Upon my return, I was delighted but puzzled to see my pots
back in place.
I later learned that the previous night, knowing we were to get
frost, our neighbor had taken my pots into his heated garage
along with his own.
My faith in small-town kindness was restored.
~~ At a community event, my friend Meryl, in her early 90s,
was delighted to spy her former schoolteacher,
now over 100 years old.
Meryl excitedly went over to her and they had a short chat.
"When can I come over and have a really good visit with you?"
Meryl asked.
Immediately the former teacher looked at Meryl pointedly
and replied, "You mean, 'When may I come over.’"
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~~ An absent-minded professor was on board a train and
he was unable to find his ticket.
The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't
find the ticket.
The conductor said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket.
Forget about it."
"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it,
otherwise I won't know where to get off."
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Todays Thought: To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace. - George Washington
Rae's Trivia.....In 2011, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This apparently happens once every 823 years!
This is called 'money bags.'......
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