Don't get fooled to many times.....
The weather fools us.....
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I think I'm being fooled with...
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Fried slice canned meat for breakfast...
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In stuffed French toast??
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Looks comfortible....not!
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Because I fells asleep....Dummy!
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You think he'll learn to ride by his self??
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No..you can't come in....
Keep on and maybe you will be
Breakfast!!
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WOW! this guy is Hairy.....
Clip him to look like a Lion,
and he would look awsome!!
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Get better, "Froggy"
We're rooting for ya.....
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So that's how they get like that....
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Well, I'll leave you now....
"HAPPY APRIL 1st..."
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♥♥♥
~~ A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn?t gotten the license number. What kind of car was he driving?? the husband asked.
I don't know, she said.... I never can tell one car from another.? At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked.
About a week later she bounded in with a pleased
expression on her face. Darling,? she said.....
I hit a Buick!?
☼
~~ Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
☼
~~ A rather well-proportioned secretary, Joan, spent
almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her
hotel.
She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second day
she decided that no one could see her way up there,
so she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up
the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just
pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, Miss," said the flustered little assistant
manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the
stairs.
"The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but
we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit
as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly.
"No one can see me up here, and besides,
I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man.
"You're lying on the dining room skylight."
☼
~~ There was a little mouse in his little hole in the wall.
Then one day the mouse really wanted to take a walk,
a huge cat was right at his door.
The little mouse was really upset that he couldn't leave.
While he was trying to figure out a solution,
the mouse heard a dog barking......
That's when he had a great thought.
He said to himself, "Where there is a dog there is no cat
and where there's no cat I can go for my walk."
So he strutted on out of his mouse hole.
All of a sudden the cat grabbed the mouse,
chewed him up, and ate him.
Then the cat said, "Wow, it's great to be bilingual!"
☼
~~A few days before my son was to start kindergarten,
he declared he did not intend to go to school.
"You're very lucky to have been born in a country where
the government guarantees each child an education,"
I told him.
"This way everyone grows smart and invents things to
make life better."
I assumed I had made my point, until the next day.
"Mom" he asked nervously.
"If everyone in the country is smart, and just one person
is stupid, will it make a big difference?"
☼
~ Even distinguished scientists like Sir Isaac Newton can
suffer lapses of memory, as the following story attests.
One day, a kitchen maid in Sir Isaac's house found the great
man standing in front of a large pot of boiling water.
He looked down at his hand, in which he was holding an egg,
then glanced at the pot: at the bottom lay his watch.
☼
~~ Filling in one weekend for a priest at a neighboring parish,
I called the church early Saturday to inquire about my Mass schedule.
I confess that I was taken aback when the caretaker picked up the
phone.
"Holy Angels," he answered, "Gabriel speaking."
☼
~~ My new credit card arrived in the mail with a large sticker on it,
giving the phone number to activate the card.
I called the number and got one option: 'Press One' to activate
the credit card.
That led me to a live person, who answered with her first name
and the title: "Credit Card Activator."
As I got ready to give her the necessary information,
she interrupted me, asking, "How can I help you?"
☼
~~ I was on my way out of the house to meet with a
cantankerous client, and I was dreading it.
The look on my face must have given me away because my
four-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.
"I'm going to meet a woman who always yells at Daddy,"
I told her.
"Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."
☼
~~ Some neighbors of my parents gave them a pumpkin pie
as a house- warming gift.
As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that
the pie tasted bad.
It was so inedible that my mother had to throw it away.
Ever gracious and tactful, she still felt obliged to send the
neighbors a note.
It read, "Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie.
Something like that doesn't last very long in our house."
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Todays Thought: When I works, I works hard. When I sits and thinks, I goes to sleep.
Rae's Trivia..... Modern April Fools Day got its start during the ancient Roman holiday of Saturnalia (in honor of the god Saturn).. when all class distinctions were abolished and slaves and their masters switched roles - temporarily, at least.... By the Middle Ages, Europeans regained the ancient Roman taste for a good time and, every spring, a Lord of Misrule or King of Fools was elected in towns and cities across Europe to celebrate.....
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