Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, friends and neighbors,,,

Well, it's a warm 52º degrees this morning....

We're having a heat wave.......

☼

She's got her breakfast, this morning.....

☼ 

Bugs for breakfast??

☼

These guys are catching all the fish...

No wonder I can't catch any....

☼

Their still waiting for their breakfast.....

☼

You can tell he's had a great breakfast.....

☼

High five......

☼

Damn....He's had too much this morning....

☼

A cool white pumpkin..........

☼

Moving??   I'd hate to be driving.......

☼

He's just watching and wondering how dumb are we....

☼

Well, it's time for me to leave...

gotta get breakfast......

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ "Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail,

but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office. "

☼
~~ WAITER: And how did you find your steak, sir?
Pete: Well, quite accidentally........
I moved this tomato slice and there it was!

☼
~~ The shopping cart is rapidly becoming the most
expensively operated vehicle in the world.

☼
~~ Q: How do Minnesotans decide where to retire?
A: They tie a snowshovel to the back of their RV, drive south,
and when people start asking "What's that thing?"
they know they've gone far enough.

☼
~~ I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly
dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her
white linen skirt.
She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin.
Having plenty of experience with getting out feed stains,
I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?"
"Young man," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had
enough to drink...... Bring me another martini!"

☼
~~ On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was driving at a
reasonable speed.
But the flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror made me
realize that I'd been over the limit.
I handed the officer my license and made small talk while
my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration.
 "I am usually very careful about myspeed,"
I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork.
The officer studied it and then gave it back.
"Sir," he said gruffly, "this is not your registration."
It was a warning ticket I had gotten for speeding in
South Carolina.

☼
~~ Our 16-year-old son had just received his learner's
permit, and I was going with him for a drive.
Before he started the car, I asked him to check the oil.
He lifted the hood and pulled the dipstick out.
"Adequate," he said.
I thought that was an unusual way of expressing it,
but said, "Okay, let's go."
The next time I checked the oil, I cleaned the dipstick and
read: "Add 1 qt."

☼
~~ A duck walked into a bar and asked the bartender for
some quackers.
The bartender told him the bar didn't have any.
The next day, the same duck walked into the bar and asked
for some quackers.
The bartender again said no.
Soon, the duck walked into the bar and asked again.
The bartender screamed at the duck,
"If you come in here one more time,
I'm going to nail your beak to the wall!"
A few days later, the duck walked in and asked,
"Do you have a hammer?"
"No," the bartender said.
"Do you have any nails?"
"No!"
The duck grinned.
"Do you have any quackers?"

☼
~~ "What flavors of ice cream do you have?"
inquired the customer.
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new
waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked,
"Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort,
"just...erm....vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."

☼
~~ Our community still has teenage curfew laws.
One night I was listening to my scanner when the police
dispatcher said, "We have a report of a 14-year-old male
out after curfew.
The subject, wearing jeans and a gray sweatshirt, is
six-foot-four and weighs 265 pounds."
After a long pause, one of the patrols replied,
"As far as I'm concerned, he can go anywhere he wants."

☼
~~ I was traveling through Virginia last summer and stopped
at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there
was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which
said, "Please Wiggel Handel".
Below that some wit had written,
"If I do, will it wiggel Bach?"

☼
~~ Sam: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!
Psychologist: Never mind, you'll pass eventually.
Sam: But I'm the examiner!

☼
☼
Todays Thought:  Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.