# 1,110

Hello, Everyone...Have a good weekend??

All the leaves are put up, and the yard looks good.

Of course it'll have to be done a couple more times

before all the leaves are down.....

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Are you crazy??

BACON is for eating......

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No! all I got is a Bacon sammich.....

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They could have dressed you as a Cat!

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What can you say??

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Forget it....he can't get you a Bacon sammich.......

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Yeh....you can't trust them holes....

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He's cool....Huh?

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I don't know what to say??

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"Whichy's" cat has big eyes....

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I guess it's time to go......

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♥♥♥

~~ The letters T and G are very close to each other on a key-board.

This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently
I will never be ending a work email with the phrase....
"Regards" again.

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~~ Pete: What's good for excessive wind, doctor?
Doctor: A kite.

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~~ One mild winter, Gus had a bit of a problem with rodents
in the garage.
So he bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellant
from city, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind of
ultrasonic sound that drives off mice.
Gus was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it
was an animal repellant.
He told her that it worked on every thing from mice to
elephants.
"Really!?" she said, "Mice to elephants, eh." sounding a bit
skeptical.
"Yes," he replied, seriously.
"We've had it here for a couple of weeks now and we haven't
had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!"

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~~ Jim said: I answered a 911 call at our emergency
dispatch center from a woman who said her water broke.
"Stay calm," I advised.
"Now, how far apart are your contractions?"
"No contractions," she said breathlessly.
"But my basement is flooding fast."

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~~ The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes
practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them think they
will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any
of it.
The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

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~~ A little boy and his dog were waiting outside a veterinary
clinic.
When asked if he was there to see the doctor, he replied,
"Yes, I'm having my dog put into neutral."

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~~ My friend and I delivered a large refrigerator to the local
priest's home.
With difficulty we had managed to get the fridge into the porch,
but struggled for over 20 minutes to make the 90- degree turn
through the narrow door.
The priest, seeing our difficulty, asked what we usually did
when confronted with such a situation.
Rubbing some badly skinned knuckles, I replied,
"Well, Father, at this point we usually start cursing."
"Well, gentlemen," Father replied, "allow me time to move
out of earshot so you can continue your work."

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~~ When my eight-year-old sister came to visit,
I took a day off from my job at the Pentagon and showed her
the Lincoln Memorial.
There she saw a large block of text - 273 words long - etched
into the monument.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Lincoln's Gettysburg Address," I told her.
"If that's his address, how does he get any mail?"

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~~ Everyone has priorities.
When a guest at my hotel suffered a massive heart attack in
our restaurant, I immediately initiated CPR, keeping him alive
until medics arrived.
As they rushed the man to the hospital, his lunch partner
approached me and stuck out her hand.
I gripped it firmly, only to find a parking ticket clasped inside it.
"Do you folks validate?" she asked.

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~~ Inmates at our Ohio prison are allowed to shine shoes
in order to make a few extra bucks.
One day, I was having my shoes shined when the prisoner
began to complain.
"Here I am with a degree, and I have to resort to shining
shoes," he grumbled.
"What kind of degree do you have?" I asked.
Without looking up: "First degree."

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~~ If you want to find out how many of your Facebook
 friends are real friends, post an update that says you’re
moving and you need help.
The people that respond are your real friends.

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Todays Thought:  When God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV
with a bad hairstyle.

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