Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning...Well, here it is a new week....

My cold is starting to leave, finally...

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Somebody is a good Pumpkin carver....

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Why don't you two, make a movie??

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What's this?, Windows #1...

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I can believe that......

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Friends getting comfy, and staying warm.....

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Don't play with your food....

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Can I have this Dance??

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Arrrrr, matey....trick or treat!!

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What you is??

You look funny......

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Fight....fight.....

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Noooo, Thanks..... I gotta run..

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~~ A listener called the disc jockey on the air at our radio station to ask about the upcoming lunar eclipse.

"The eclipse can be seen at 1:30 in the morning,"
the DJ told her.
"That late?" the listener snapped.
"I don't know why they don't schedule these things earlier,
so kids can enjoy them too!"

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~~ A biker walks into a family restaurant...
Just as he is walking by this old couple, he lets go the longest,
loudest, nasties fart you ever heard.
The old guy stands up and puts his hands on his hips and yells
"How dare you fart before my wife"
The Biker saz "Chill out pops, and sit down.
I had no idea that it was her turn"

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~~ President Obama could not wait to get on vacation.
As soon as the plane landed, he grabbed a couple beers and
slid down the emergency slide.

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~~ According to a news story, if global warming continues,
in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is
in a zoo.
So in other words, nothing is going to change.

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~~ Snow was falling heavily the day I decided to visit a car
dealership.
I was confident I'd get a great deal, figuring the salesmen
would be desperate for customers on such a lousy day.
Sure enough, when I entered the showroom,
I was the only client.
But my hope of getting a good deal quickly faded with the
salesman's first words. "Boy," he said jovially,
"you must want a new car real bad to come out on a day like
this."

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~~ Flying through the Midwest in the summertime means
one thing: turbulence.
I was working as a flight attendant on one particular flight
when we hit a patch of very rough air just after a young
teenager, obviously on her first flight, had entered the
bathroom.
After the bumps had subsided, she exited the bathroom,
a look of sheer terror etched on her face.
"Are you all right?" I asked as I helped her to her seat.
"That turbulence was as bad as it gets."
"So that's what it was," she said.
"I thought I'd pushed the wrong button."

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~~ Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?
A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work
anymore.

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~~ My daughter had absentmindedly left her sneakers on
our kitchen table.
"That's disgusting," my husband grumbled.
"Doesn't she realize we eat off that table?"
Then he went out back to work on the car.
I cleaned the table and left to do my grocery shopping.
When I came home I couldn't set my bags down anywhere.
Sitting in the middle of the kitchen table was a car muffler.

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~~ You know you are living in the year 2010 when your
reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do
not have e-mail.

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~~ At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another,
"That new bull nearly did me in today, pardner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?" asked the other cowboy.
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging
at me like a locomotive from hell.
He damn near got me!" replied the first cowboy.
"So, how'd you get away?" asked the other cowboy.
"The bull kept slipping.
He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make
it to the fence and jump over," replied the first cowboy.
"Man, that's scary! If it'd been me, I would probably have
crapped all over the place," remarked the second cowboy.
The first cowboy replied, "I DID!........
What do you think that bullwas slipping in?"

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~~ Autumn is a season for big decisions...
like whether or not it's too late to start spring cleaning.

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Todays Thought:  "If God had really intended men to fly, he'd have made it easier to get to the airport."

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