Cold Meds, allday yesterday have me groggy this morning...
Gonna do it again today...and lay about.....
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The leaves are changing colour and falling....
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This is what I feel like this morning....
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No beer! That wouldn't help.....
But thanks....
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So, that's were my sandwich went.....
I've been looking all over for it.....
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No....hard times are here.....
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FIGHT! FIGHT!!
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He's scard, and hiding......
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Something an't right.....
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Now, you got the word.....Do It....
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I bet it get hit often every year.......
Glad I'm not in it.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Pete buys a new bath tub but goes back to the shop the nextday for a refund.
"The water keeps running out of it" Pete says.The shop assistant looks puzzled and says;
"You did buy a plug for it didn't you?"
"Ah for gosh sakes!" says Pete angrily....
"You didn't tell me it was electric"
☼
~~ There were only two cars at the end of my exit ramp,
but no one was moving.
Clearly the first driver was too timid to blend into the flow of
traffic.
Opportunity after opportunity passed her by, and cars piled
up on the ramp.
Finally, the driver moved, spurred by an exasperated motorist
at the end of the line, who yelled,
"The sign says yield, not surrender!"
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~~ "You define a good flight by negatives:
you didnt get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up,
you weren't late, you weren't nauseated by the food.
So you are grateful."
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~~ "I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy.
What a source of power!
I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before
we tackle that." (Thomas Edison, 1931)
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~~ my wifes never gonna believe somebody broke
in to the house and watched porn on my computer
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~~ Guy walks into a pharmacy,asks for some Viagra,
the guy behind the counters says "i have to see some medical
proof"
first guy says"heres a photo of my wife!"
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~~ Three guys fall out of a boat but only two get their hair wet.
Why?
Because the third guy was bald!
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~~ Sherry said:
Resting in the hospital after the birth of our second child,
I thought I would finally get a chance to finish reading
Boris Pasternak's famous novel, Doctor Zhivago,
and had it handy on my bedside table.
When the student nurse came in,
it caught her eye and she looked at it skeptically.
"If you want the real low-down on baby care,"
she said confidentially, "you can't beat Doctor Spock."
☼
~~ As we gathered in the living room, my father opened up
his birthday present from my mother, two exquisite silk ties.
With nary a thank-you, he quietly slipped away to their
bedroom.
There he changed into a crisp white shirt and his best suit
before parading in front of us wearing one of the ties.
Mom looked at his ensemble, then asked,
"Don't you like the other one?"
☼
~~ History teaches us that we need both optimists and
pessimists; we need the former to invent the airplane,
and the latter to invent the parachute.
☼
~~ In the twelfth century, English knights would fight in
jousting tournaments for gold coins.
The most celebrated knight was a talented jouster named
William Marshall, who won 500 contests and retired a wealthy
man.
Later if was learned that when in doubt, Marshall made secret
arrangements with other knights to throw their jousts to him.
After the tournament was over, he would share his prize
money with them, one of the earliest historic accounts of fixed
fights.
☼
~~ My 17-year-old niece was looking for a job,
so her mother scoured the want ads with her.
"Here's one.
A couple are looking for someone to watch their two kids and
do light housekeeping."
"Hel-looo!" said my niece, rolling her eyes.
"I can't take that job.
I don't know anything about lighthouses."
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Todays thought: Some people are making such thorough preparations for a rainy day that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine.
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