Sorry I'm a wee bit later then usuall....Phones were dead this morning..
What happens when you're on slow, slow dial-up and Yahoo.
☼
Yesterdays Sunrise...none this morning...
clouded over.....
☼
My little speckled friend....
There are about 15-16 that feeds on my feeders.
Great fun watching them....
☼
Wow...He likes that watermelon.....
☼
So does she.....wants some!!
☼
They would rather have meat.......
☼
She can't make up her mind.......?
☼
This is how your supposed to be served...
Watermelon wine?? I don't think so.....
That's redneck wine....
☼
Their mad because nobody served them...
Some body an't right.....
☼
Now they gotta fight over it.....
☼
Eno's right... He's tha man....
☼
Yep, It's turned upside down.....
Cop's are the bad guys, now....
☼
I guess It's time to go.....
☼☼
♥♥♥
~~ Hillary and Chelsea was sitting around a table having the mother/daughter talk.
Hillary asks, "You and this boy have been dating for several years, have you had sex?"
Chelsea replies, "No. Not according to Dad."
☼
~~ A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds
when he entered a patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of
wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood
in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, " He's my friend, but he's a little crazy.
He thinks he's a lightbulb."
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him
down from there before he hurts himself"
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
☼
~~ "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.
Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."
☼
~~ George knocked on the door of his friend's house.
When his friend's mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"
"No," said the mother, "it's too cold."
"Well, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?"
☼
~~ Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers
who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate
emergency equipment.
One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen
and needed to go to a hospital.
After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics
would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused
the fall?"
"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"
☼
~~ When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he let out a few
choice words.
Shocked by her son's outburst, his mother said,
"Don't you dare use that kind of language in here."
"William Shakespeare did," replied Ben.
"Well, you'd better stop going around with him," said Mom.
☼
~~ The Department of Defense has a Contact Us link on its
website inviting readers to pose any question they want.
One guy did just that: "So do you have any top secret
information you would like to tell me?
I am doing a project for my senior economics class and
was just wondering...E-mail me back."
☼
~~ Big Brother: "That planet over there is Mars."
Little Brother: "Then that other one must be Pa's."
☼
~~ In January 1991, I was being deployed to Operation
Desert Storm.
Before boarding the C-141 transport at Shaw Air Force Base
in South Carolina,
I had to go through tight security.
After a meticulous x-ray examination of my carry-on bag,
I removed all metal
objects from my uniform and was finally able to pass through
the detector
without setting off the alarm.
"Just out of curiosity," I asked the airman operating the
checkpoint,
"why did you make me go through all that?"
"We want to be sure you aren't carrying any weapons on
board," he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.
☼
~~ Q: What's the best way to contact your long-lost relatives?'
A: Win the Lottery.
☼
~~ The clerk in a shoe store was trying hard to persuade
Pat that a pair of uncomfortable shoes fit her.
"I'm telling you, these shoes are too pointed and too narrow,"
argued Pat.
"But, madam," replied the salesman, "everyone is wearing
narrow, pointed shoes this season."
"That may be," countered the Pat,
"but I'm still wearing my last season's feet."
☼
~~ My niece and her fiancé were at the town hall,
applying for their marriage license.
After they filled out all the papers, the clerk said,
"This license is good for 30 days."
"No, you don't understand," replied the nervous groom-to-be....
"We want one that's 'till death do us part."
☼
☼
Todays Thought: He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.