Saturday, May 22, 2010


Good Morning,,,,friends, and readers.... Another nice weekend......
Hope your having on too...We're going to have to send
some Sunshine to our friends in "Wales"....



I don't know if I would do that!
It might not like that......

Hey, Bubba....That's not Santa......

He's hoping everything turns out, O.K.

He can't believe his eyes.....Biggest critter he has seen!

Better to melt critters with......

They are ready to run or fly.......he an't catching them.....

She's packed her lunch...just in case......

Somebuddy's good with a chainsaw.......

Oh No, not that......Okay, Okay, here's a twenty!!

♥♥♥
                                                                                                                                                                             ~~ I was out to dinner with a friend and we ended up talking for a while with our waitress.
She was one of those waitresses who was such a pleasure that she
made the whole dining experience that much more enjoyable.
She told us about how she was working two jobs and trying to put
herself through school at night.
It was not a very expensive restaurant, and I think our total was less
then $20.
But when we paid, we left her a $100 tip.
What a great feeling.



~~ As Sue and Jon ate lunch with their sons at their favorite seafood
restaurant, the waitress brought four-year-old James and six-year-old
Nathan lobster bibs to wear.
Nathan politely said, "Thank you" to the waitress.
Seeing pictures of lobsters on his bib, James shouted for all the
restaurant patrons to hear, "I've got crabs!"



~~ Teacher: "Stanley, every day since school began you have been late. Why?"
Stanley: "It's not my fault! There's a sign at almost every crossing that
says, 'go slow!'"



~~ A teacher was walking along the school corridor when he saw
three boys peeing up against a wall of the science block.
"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.
"We've having a contest, sir.
Whoever can pee the highest gets $10.00"
In a rage, the teacher rushed straight to the principal.
"Mr Grimes," he said, I've just stumbled across three boys urinating
up the wall of the science block.
Apparently whoever could get the highest would win $10.00."
"So what did you do?" asked the principal.
"I hit the roof!"
"Cool! Did you get your money?"



~~ The National Institutes of Health have announced
that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation.
In their place, they will use attorneys.
They have given three reasons for this decision:
1. There are now more attorneys than there are
rats.
2. The medical researchers don't become as
emotionally attached to the attorneys as they
did to the rats.
3. No matter how hard you try, there are some
things that rats won't do.



~~ Quickies.....
Q: Why is perfume so obedient?
A: Because it's scent everywhere it goes.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.



~~ A meter reader succeeded in getting past a vicious dog that was
on a very long chain.
Later, he was asked by his superior,
"How were you able to get past that watchdog?
The customer is curious."
"It was easy, boss," the meter reader replied.
"I just parked on his chain."



~~ My boyfriend, Daniel, gave me a dozen roses on my birthday,
and on the card he wrote: I'll love you until the last rose fades away.
Among the eleven real roses, he had added a fake 12th one.
The next day, he gave me another plastic rose, and the week after,
another one.
"So I guess that's the last one," I said.
He looked at me and asked how I knew.
"Well," I replied, "the tag on the second rose you gave me said:
3 for 99 cents."



~~ Returning from a shopping trip with my five-year-old son,
I kept him occupied on the drive home by letting him count the money
in my wallet.
He had no trouble adding up my five, tens and twenties.
But then he got to my credit card and his counting came to a halt.
Puzzled, he thought for a moment, then said, "infinity"



~~ Medical News....
Bet you didn't know this: Try it!!
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects
the eyeball to the anus?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people
a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't
bring a tear to your eye.



~~ Doctor: "I have some good news and some bad news,
which do you want first?"
Patient: "Give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "We amputated the wrong leg."
Patient: "What is the good news?"
Doctor: "Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all."



Todays Thought:  There can be no peace if the things we believe in are different from

the things we do.






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1 comment:

  1. Hi Gus, Wales would love some of your weather although at the moment we've had a nice couple of days with temps in the upper 20'sC. All change by Wednesday though and the bank holiday Monday is forecast to be a washout. Same ole same ole LOL
    Rae x

    ReplyDelete

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