Well, we got a dusting of snow, last night.....
Now, cold and windy...
.
My hands up, also....
.
This critter is looking for breakfast....
invite him in......
.
Put to much power in....huh, Bubba!
.
This guy looks weird....
.
Damn, I wish I had some of that "Luck".
.
Here is another critter looking to eat......
.
Good to the last drop.....
.
Yea....right! We see you.....
.
Looks like she's going to have frog legs for dinner!
Damn...I gotta get off this food thing.....
.
Yea!! Right......I don't believe it.....too many spins...
.
Time to leave....see you later...
.
♥♥♥
~~ A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having
severe problems with her sex life.
The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem
to be getting a clear picture of her problems.
Finally he asked,
"Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having
sex?"
Well, yes, I did once."
Well, how did he look?"
"Very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting
somewhere and he said,
"Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's
face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual;
how did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking at us, through the window."
.
~~ A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some
important guests.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to
be perfect.
At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any
snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run
down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed.
He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and
out to the beach.
As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman
strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach.
He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would
even just come down and talk to me?"
He went back to gathering the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was
standing right over him.
They started talking and she invited him back to her place.
They ended up spending the night together.
At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed,
"Oh no!!!..... My wife's dinner party!!!"
He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast,
grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.
He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment.
He ran up the stairs of his apartment.
He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs,
he dropped the bucket of snails.
There were snails all down the stairs.
The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in
the door way wondering where he's been all this time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her,
then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys,.....
we're almost there!!"
.
~~ The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution.
''You don't want to try these techniques at home.''
''Why not?'' asked someone from the back of the audience.
''I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,'' the expert
explained.
''She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and
cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.
'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at
once?'''
The voice from the back asked, ''Did it save time?''
The expert replied, ''Actually, yes.
It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready.
Now I do it in seven.''
.
~~ Two women were bemoaning the state of the National Health
Service.
One said: "Do you know, my ninety-three-year-old mother has
been waiting over a year for her operation?"
"That's appalling," said the other woman.
"What a terrible way to treat someone of that age."
"I know," said the first woman.
"It got so bad that at one point I even said to her,
'Mum, do you really need bigger boobs?'
.
~~ After cashing a check at the bank,
the woman in front of me stood staring at her money.
"Did I give you enough back?" asked the teller.
"Yes," she said...... "But barely."
.
~~ Took a serious Lady out to dinner last night...so quiet and
sophisticated.
I said: "Penny for your thoughts."
She looked at me and replied: "A hundred bucks for my action."
A penny just doesn't buy much anymore....
.
~~ During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was
asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights.
You undress and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness:
"Doctor, I've undressed...... What shall I do with my clothes?"
"Put them on the chair, on top of mine."
.
~~ Because my wife had a habit of losing her cordless phone,
I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it
directly to her belt.
A few days later, I walked into home and found her standing in
the middle of the living room, halfway dressed.
That didn't strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was
holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them.
"Don't look at me that way," she yelled.
"The phone started ringing and I couldn't figure out how to
undo this stupid clip!"
.
~~ One day a lady criticized D. L. Moody for his methods of
evangelism in attempting to win people to the Lord.
Moody's reply was, "I agree with you.
I don't like the way I do it either.
Tell me, how do you do it?"
The lady replied, "I don't do it."
Moody responded, "I like my way of doing it better than your
way of not doing it."
.
~~ My father was in the dentist's chair having a root canal done.
Every so often, the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like
object into the tooth's canal to see how far he had drilled.
Each time, this thing caused my father great pain,
but whenever he complained, the dentist replied,
"Oh, that doesn't hurt -- it's just a measuring device.
This happened a couple more times.
Again my father complained -- again he got the same response.
Finally my father sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his
month and looked straight at the dentist.
"Excuse me for a moment," Dad said.
"I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack
you in the head with it.
It shouldn't hurt, though.
It's just a measuring device."
.
.
Todays Thought: In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends. - Martin Luther King -
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