Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Folks.....Well it's not a very good day.....

41ºf, and raining and will be thru Sunday.......

so I guess winter is almost here....Florida would look good now.....

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The Swan dance??....

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I doubt a snake will climb to this guys nest...ouch-ouch-ouch..

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Pumpkin fight...I thought I heard something last night....

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This was the proposed symbol for the Olympics if held in Chicago.

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Protesters....protesting the price of milk......thats cool.......

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Wanna buy some sausages?... What a way to sell them...

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A great weight loss program....But I don't know if I could.....

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Well, time for me to get going....

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♥♥♥

~~ One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside.

He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said,
"I want a spectacular job...a job that no man has ever
succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."
Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

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~~ One day my squad car was dispatched to a local bank
that had just been robbed.
As I interviewed a teller, it soon became obvious she had
lunch on her mind.
"The suspect was dressed in black," she described,
"and was wearing a banana."

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~~ The comedian Howie Mandel was once expelled from his
high school after impersonating a member of the school board
and convincing a local construction company to begin
construction of an addition onto the school.

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~~ Two little girls from the neighborhood came by with a
wagon load of rocks and asked if I'd like to buy one.
They were so excited about earning their own money that
I purchased a few.
As they were leaving, I heard one say, "See, I told you.
People will buy anything."

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~~ A man was shorted by a penny on a settlement check.
He complained and eventually received a second check for
one penny.
When he cashed it at the bank, the teller kidded.
"How would you like it, heads or tails?"

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~~ My partner and I were chasing a suspect fleeing on foot
when, in the heat of the moment, my colleague yelled,
"Stop, or I'll shoot myself!"
The chase ended right then and there...
the suspect was laughing so hard he couldn't run anymore.

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~~ I decided to build a garden shed.
I bought a prefab package from a building-supplies store
and read the instructions carefully.
With much rereading and rechecking of measurements,
I finally completed the shed.
Proud that it had turned out perfectly,
I called my brother to come over to show him my handiwork.
He listened silently, all the while looking at the floor as I
pointed the features out.
Then I followed his gaze to the floor and read the large
black lettering: THIS SIDE DOWN.

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~~ Bronco Nagurski, one of the strongest running backs in
football history, was discovered in the 1920s when a scout
saw the boy plowing a field on his family farm and stopped
to ask directions to another farm, where he'd been told there
was a strong kid who could play football.
Giving the scout directions, Bronco lifted up the plow and
pointed down the road with it.
The scout never went down the road.
He signed the boy who could lift a plow.

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~~ I had just conducted a wedding rehearsal when the groom
asked me to be sure to include "obey in the vows."
I said that I was more often asked to leave it out but that if he
wanted it, I would include it.
"Oh, it's not for me," he said.
"My fiancée wants it in, and I always do what she tells me."

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~~ A physician presented his bill to the attorney representing

a deceased person's estate.
Each of them knew the other, having tangled quite a few times
in court,
where the doctor was often called as an "expert witness."
The doctor asked the lawyer if he wanted the bill sworn to.
"No," replied the lawyer, "the death of Mr. Abernathy is
sufficient evidence that you attended him professionally."
"Be that as it may," replied the doctor,
"the fact that you handled his affairs is probably why he
couldn't afford to pay this bill in the first place."

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~~ The pastor decides to use one rich parishioner to set an
example.
"Samuel," he says, "you're a successful businessman;
surely you could contribute more to the building fund."
Samuel replies, "But my mother is in a nursing home,
my daughter just lost her job, and my son is starting college.
If I can say no to them, I can say no to you too."
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Todays Thought:  Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke

with a stick...
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