Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....friends.... hope everyone is well...

"Witchy" seems good now....

Wants to win big at the dog track, this afternoon....

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Lovers??.....

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Yes....You may go to the bathroom.......

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This is a great picture.......thanks, Julia......

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Tree frog?....

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Store keeper....?

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Someone didn't set the brake......Opps......

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I liked the little sign about the Badger.........

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Another oppps.........................................

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Wasn't me......

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♥♥♥

~~ A man enters the bar of a five star restaurant,

sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks.

The bartender serves them on a silver tray,

setting all four in front of the patron.

The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds.

The bartender comments, "Wow, you sure must have a problem."

"If you had what I had," the man replies,

"you'd drink them fast, too."

Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asks,

"What do you have?"

"One Dollar Fifty ," the man answers.

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~~ Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday,

one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully

each day before ordering.

One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be

made to order anything else.

Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs

entry.

Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes,

the waitress approached him and asked,

"Sir, did you notice that I scratched something you like?"

Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied,

"Well, would you mind washing your hands before you

bring me my ham and eggs?"

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~~ Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.

Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.

Judge: What does the "Colonel" stand for?

Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your

name, not a damn thing.

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~~ Two friends arrived home after spending the night in

several bars.

The first one took the key from his pocket and tried

unsuccessfully to put it into the lock.

After several failed attempts, his friend said,

"Do you want me to try and steady your hand?"

No, my hand's okay, You try and hold the house!"

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~~ "Some plants," said the teacher, " have the prefix 'dog'

For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet.

Who can name another plant prefixed by 'dog?'"

"I can," shouted a little boy in the back row. "Collie flower."

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~~ A hillbilly woman was asked by the town banker to open

a bank account.

She declined, saying, "I keep my money safe to the house."

The banker said, "You've got four strapping sons.

Don't they try to get at your bankroll once in a while?"

The hillbilly woman said, "I keep it where they won't find it."

"Where would that be?"

"Under the soap!"

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~~ "An abstract noun," the teacher said,

"is something you can think of, but you can't touch it.

Can you give me an example of one?"

"Sure," a teenage boy replied.

"My father's new motorcycle."

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~~ A father believed that his son was spending way too

much time playing computer games.

In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention

on his schoolwork, the father said to his son,

"When Abe Lincoln was your age,

he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

The son pointed out, "When Lincoln was your age,

he was President of the United States."

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~~ My wife and I were at my high school reunion.

As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive

suits ... and their bulging stomachs.

Proud of the fact that I weighed just five pounds more than

I did when I was in high school, the result of trying to beat

a living out of a rocky hillside farm, I said to my wife,

"I'm the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore

when he graduated."

She glanced at the prosperous crowd,

then back at me and said,

"You're the only one who HAS to."

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~~ "Darn!" Pete said to his friend while weighing himself at

the local drug store scale.

"I started on a new diet but the scale says I'm heavier than

I was before."

Turning to his friend, Gus, he said, "Here, hold my jacket."

The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight.

"OK," he said to Gus...... "Hold my Twinkies."

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Todays Thought: Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

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