bit of rain. I think Snowman got more...but don't know yet....
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Surfers look out at the big waves at the Ventnor fishing pier in Atlantic City,
N.J., Saturday, Aug. 22, 2009 as Hurricane Bill churns in the Atlantic Ocean.
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An example of the wire cage which East Poplar borough council in London proposed to fix to the outside of their tenement windows, so that babies could benefit from fresh air and sunshine ...
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Cat Karate Chops Dog , saying "Get Back".........
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Tucking her babys in for the night............
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All three bringing the stick back......Cool.....
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Party hardy........ Now that must have been "the party"....
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♥♥♥
~~~ Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.
"I do wish that my Gus would stop biting his nails.
He makes me terribly nervous.""My Pete used to do the same thing," the older woman replied..... "But I broke him of the habit."
"How?"............"I hid his teeth."
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~~~ A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only.
The bus stopped and an elderly lady got on carrying a large picnic basket.
She stood right in front of the man and grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket was above the man's head.
Being a gentleman, he offered his seat to her.
She quickly declined as she was only going a short distance.
Soon the picnic basket began to leak.
The man felt something drop on top of his head.
As he looked up it hit beside his nose and ran down across his lips.
He tasted it, looked up at the lady and asked, "Pickles?"
She replied, "No, no, puppies."
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~~~ SIGNS YOU'RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL...
You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in.
Instead of sponge bath, they send St. Bernard to lick you.
In the operating room, you see a surgeon holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!"
Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing Taps.
All the diplomas on the wall are signed by Sally Struthers.
You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V.
Through fog of anesthesia, you hear surgeon shouting, "Bring the damn Scotch tape! And plenty of it!"
Instead of "patient," they use the term "plaintiff."
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~~~ On her way to take a coffee break, a woman employed by a computer company saw a colleague sitting at his desk with his feet propped up, staring straight ahead and blinking. Concerned, she asked, "Are you all right?"
He answered, "I'm fine! I'm just in screen saver mode."
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~~~ A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington.
The bride is concerned "What if the place is still bugged?"
The groom says "I'll look for a bug."
He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug "AHA!"
Under the rug was a disc with four screws.
He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds ...."How was your room?", "How was the service?", "How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says "Well, the room UNDER you complained of the chandelier falling on them."
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~~~ "Women don't want to hear what you think.
Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.” --Bill Cosby
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~~~ A heavy ground fog had settled across Louisiana's Delta Downs racetrack in December 1990 when jockey Sylvester Carmouche pulled off a surprise upset by finishing first on the 23-1 long shot Landing Officer.
But even more surprising was the magnitude of his victory.
Landing Officer won by 24 lengths, finishing just 1.2 seconds shy of the track record for a one-mile course.
It wasn't that Landing Officer had discovered an inner reserve of strength somewhere in the backstretch.
As it turned out, the jockey had steered the horse out of the race while lost from view in the fog, cut across the course and rejoined the field again as the other horses came around.
Other jockeys admitted they'd never even seen him. Carmouche received a 10-year ban but was reinstated after serving eight.
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~~~ There are many ways to measure success, not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to friends.
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~~~ When the skipper of an Icelandic trawler accidentally rammed Englishman Jim Hughes's yacht, he caused $30,000 worth of damage.
Exactly a year and a day before, reported the London Times, the skipper, Eriker Olafsson, had hit the same boat, causing $40,000 in damage.
What are the odds of this happening twice?
Pretty Good, since Olafsson purposely steered toward Hughes to apologize for the previous year's collision.
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~~~ Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Patient: Yes, Doctor, I certainly have.
Doctor: So your asthma has disappeared completely?
Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod and laptop have.
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~~~ Are you thinking you want kids?
Go to Chucky Cheese on Sunday.
You will leave there and buy a puppy....
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~~~ The most saluted man in America is Richard Stans.
Legions of schoolchildren daily place their hands over their hearts to pledge allegiance to the flag and to the republic "For Richard Stans"
With all due patriotic fervor, the kids salute "one nation under guard".
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Todays Thought; Humor is a hole that lets the sawdust out of a stuffed shirt.
And remember.... You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent....
Great read today Gus...and lots of giggles.
ReplyDeleteSuz