Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Good Morning....Great Morning.....everybody......
Calling for very good weather....(Glad you did Okay, "Snowman".
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I don't wanna get close enought to find out........
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Well, now he's happy, he's nowere close to were the Bear's at.....
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He will just drink his beer, and not worry about the bear......
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I couldn't drink, for thinking were it came from....
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I used to have hair like that, and yes...I did use "Brylcreem"....
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Thereby hangs a tail: Lion cubs are fascinated by the swishing tails of older
relatives, even taking an occasional bite
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$25 million clock apartment. Wow, just wow..
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Got any mice......She's hungry........
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Eno's going riding in style.......
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♥♥♥
~~~ A certain workman, notorious for his sponging proclivities, met a friend
one morning, and opened the conversation by saying:"
Can ye len' us a match, ....John?"
John having supplied him with the match, the first speaker began to feel his
pockets ostentatiously, and then remarked dolefully, "Man, I seem to have
left my tobacco pouch at hame."
John, however, was equal to the occasion, and holding out his hand, remarked:
"Aweel, ye'll no be needin' that match then."

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~~~ Nearing the end, Paul is surrounded by his loved ones.
As the final moment approaches, he whispers, "I must tell you my greatest
secret.
"His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Paul explains, "Fast cars, cute girls and
plenty of money.
But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family.
Other wise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when
you're on your deathbed........'So I took his advice.
I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food.
I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds.
And now here we are........... And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
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~~~ At every party, there are two kinds of people......those who want to go
home and those who don't.
The trouble is, usually they are married to each other.

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~~~ Oscar Levant was playing a concert when a telephone began ringing
offstage.
The pianist carried on, but the ringing continued and the audience became
restless.
Levant, without pausing...glanced at the audience and said, "If that's for me,
tell them I'm busy."

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~~~ Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through
argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution that everybody can
understand.- Colin Powell

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~~~ couple of tourists were dining at a fine restaurant in Paris.
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter's eye.
"I want a bottle of your best wine," he ordered.
"What year?" asked the waiter.
"Right now!" bellowed the tourist.

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~~~ Annoyed at her husband's answer when people asked how long they'd
been married, his wife requested that he say "twenty-four years" instead of
announcing "almost a quarter of a century."

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~~~ A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car;
but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad."

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~~~ "Hello Mrs. Miller," said the bearded guy behind the counter at the
bagel shop.
My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks.
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" I asked.
"Yeah, you was my English teacher."

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~~~ "I've just had the most awful time", said the boy to his friends.
"First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis.
Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis.
They gave my hypodermics, and, to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by
appendectomy".
"Wow!... How did you pull through ?", asked his friends.
"I don't know," the boy replied...continuing, "it was the toughest Spelling
Test I ever had!"

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~~~ After many interruptions from her young son, a woman trying to choose
a greeting card tried to get a moment to finalize her selection.
She said, "I do not want to hear the word 'Mom' for five minutes."
Seconds later, the boy tugged her skirt and said, "Excuse me, miss."

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~~~ I find I need to procrastinate many times before a chore completely
slips my mind.

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~~~ Sue's father ran into the bedroom when he heard her scream and found
her two-year old brother pulling her hair.
He gently released the little boy's grip and said comfortingly to Sue,
"There, there.
He didn't mean it...... He doesn't know that hurts."
Dad was barely out of the room when the little boy screamed.
Rushing back in, he asked, "What happened?"
"He knows now," Sue replied.
.
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Todays Thought; Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.













1 comment:

  1. "I find I need to procrastinate many times before a chore completely
    slips my mind."

    ....so true...lol.

    Snagged it...just have to send it to my sister...a master of procrastination...she'll love it.

    Suzzie :)

    ReplyDelete

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