Good Morning.....friends and neighbors.......
A messy weekend coming up....
.

Happy Birthday.......to a good Friend....."Chuck"
.


These guys going fishing.........
.

Not ME!!!!!.....I like cats, but he's too big....and he eats meat.....

.

Looks like he'll grap you hand if you reach for his bone.......

.

Pretty bad when you run in to the 'Danger" sign...........

.

Pick up your date in this car.......cool date?

.

Or maybe this cool ride?

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Daylight savings time now begins not in spring, on the first Sunday in April, but in winter, on the second Sunday in March.

Advancing standard time by one hour, we no longer "spring forward" but "march forward."

.

~~~ A defendant asked the judge to appoint a new attorney to represent him.

"For what reason?" the judge asked.

The defendant said the public defender assigned to him wasn't interested in his case.
The judge addressed the man's attorney, "Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?"

The attorney replied, "I'm sorry, your honor, I wasn't listening."

The attorney was dismissed.

.

~~~ Some facts....

Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow but none for hello.

The word "set" has the most definitions in the English language.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating its letters is "uncopyrightable.

"Windmills always turn counter-clockwise.

The "Sixth Sick Sheik's Sixth Sheep's Sick" is the hardest tongue-twister.

The word "dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".

Albert Einstein never wore any socks.

The average human will eat 8 spiders while asleep in their lifetime.

In space, astronauts cannot cry because there is no gravity.

Hummingbirds are the only creatures that can fly backwards.

Cockroaches can live 9 days without their heads before they starve to death.

A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down.

The average left-handed person lives 7 years LESS than a right-handed person.

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year!

.

~~~ Two city council members are attending a meeting at the Town Hall.

One says, "Have you heard of George Pringle?"

"No." says the other.

"Well," says the first, "if you'd bothered to attend a few more council meetings, you'd know that he's now in charge of the county sewage works."

"Oh" says the second member.

"And have you heard of Thomas Harris?"

"No," says the first man. "Who's he?"

"Well," says the second, "If you'd attended fewer council meetings you'd know he's the man who's been sleeping with your wife."

.

~~~ An Animal baby was born at the local hospital today; it had a dear face and a bear butt.

.

.

.

Todays thought; Society cares for the individual only so far as he is profitable.

Good Morning....Ready for the week end?
Rain here......
.

Fox face cats are pretty.......
.

Oppps...........Thats gonna leave a mark..........
.

This little fellow can't eat all that nana........

.

The wind will take care of these seeds.........

.

What can I say..........

.

Cute bird.....

.

I have nothing to say.........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ DAUGHTER TO HER FATHER READING HER A BEDTIME STORY: "Peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

That's like the time Mom was away and left you in charge of the kitchen for two weeks!"

.

~~~ When comic actor Chevy Chase was trying to break into the business, he auditioned for the new TV show Saturday Night Live.

To impress the producers, while they were hurrying through a heavy rain, Chase took one of his soon-to-be trademark flops into a pothole filled with water.
"How could you say no to someone who was crazy enough to do that?" he asked the producers. They couldn't, and that's how he got the job.

.

~~~Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.

Shirley says," Sophie, you know I'm shy.

Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him.

He looks so lonely."

Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely."

"Of course I'm lonely, he says, "I've spent the past 20 years in prison."

"You're kidding!

What for?"

"For killing my third wife.

I strangled her."
"What happened to your second wife?"

"I shot her."

"And, if I may ask, your first wife?"

"We had a fight and she fell off a building."

"Oh my," says Sophie.
Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, "Yoo hoo, Shirley.

He's single."

.

~~~ Ron Davis, former Minnesota Twin-reliever who had a knack for giving up late-game homers, on the boos, he still hears at appearances in the twin Cities: "When it's 10 years later and they still hate you, that's what you call charisma."

.

~~~ Circus leader Jim Rose makes a living eating light bulbs and balancing chainsaws on his nose, but a spoon sent him to the hospital in August 1994.

Rose was demonstrating how far he could push it up his nostril when he ruptured a membrane and began spurting blood.

The Seattle native leads a sideshow that includes a performer who hangs concrete blocks from his genitals and a contortionist who squeezes his body through the head of a tennis racket. Ironically, Rose was boasting about his troupe's good safety record when the accident occurred. What's worse, he put the spoon back in the kitchen drawer without wiping it off.

.

~~~ The invention of the teenager was a mistake.

Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late, but don't have to pay taxes, naturally, nobody wants to live any other way.

.

~~~ The world isn't so much worse than before, it's just that the news coverage got so much better.

.

.

.

.

~~~ Todays thought: Everybody wants to save the Earth, nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes.
.

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♥~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning.....peeps.
Gonna be a warm 61º
.

Kind of rare.......
.

I just don't know...........

.

I'd say you do........

.

Man....that looks dangerous.........

.

Nice last ride........

.

Wow....What can I say....?

.

Clean chick...??

.

♥♥♥

~~~ One day she was sitting on the porch and I said, "Granny, how old does a woman get before she don't want no more boyfriends?"

(She was around 106 then.)

She said, "I don't know, honey.

You have to ask somebody older than me."

She said, "A woman is a woman as long as she lives; But there's a certain time in a man's life when he has to go to a place called Over the Hill."

.

~~~ Our lawn was under attack by moles, so I bought a havahart trap and, voila! caught one.

"Honey," I called to my wife. "Look!

What should I do with it?"She replied, "Bury it."

.

~~~ You sure gotta slip a lot of people some unmarked cash to get into this Capitol Building here in Washington, at least that’s what they say about The Chicago Way.

But I wonder who that sad crumpled scrap of paper is?
I'm just a Stimulus bill.

Yes, I'm only a big fat pork barrel bill.

And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.

Well, it's a long, long journey To the capital-less shanty.

It's a long, long wait While I'm in Harry Reid’s committee, But I know I'll be a criminal law someday.

At least I hope (and pay off a few moderates) so I will, But today I’m still just a Stimulus bill. .

~~~ A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper.

"Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

.

~~~ A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars.

The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.

Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000.

He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips.

Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.

He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn't run out.

So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red.

He returned to his hotel room.

"How did you do?" asked the bride.

The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars."

.

~~~ I know an oral surgeon who didn't have much in the way of social skills.

They had seated a paraplegic in the examining room for a consult.

When the doctor strolled into the room, oblivious to the wheelchair outside, he extended his hand for a handshake and as the patient leaned forward to shake hands he said, "Don't get up." The patient just said, "Don't worry." .

.

.

.

Todays thoughts: If you don't know where you are going,

you will probably end up somewhere else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning.....16ºdegrees this morning, but will get to 60º today..
.

A cute picture....but just wait......
.

What can I say??

.

What an ugly dog.....

.

Food looks better in someone else's bowl..........

.

Food??

.

Looking for a fish from you........

.

Oh...Oh................

.

♥♥♥ Pete said;"How is your health these days?"
Gus said; "I sleep soundly and eat like a horse."

Pete "Let's leave your table manners out of this."

.

~~~ THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative ...

2. Preliminary...

3. Proliferation...

4. Cinnamonand...

one more; no thanks, i've had enough.

.

~~~ An old farmer's dog goes missing and he is inconsolable.

His wife says to him, "why don't you put an ad in the paper to get him back".

The farmer does this, but after two weeks the dog is still missing.
"What did you write in the paper?" asked his wife.

"Here boy," said the farmer.....

.

~~~ "I've got a stomachache."

"That's because you haven't eaten.

Your stomach is empty-- that's why it hurts."

"Oh, is that why you have all those headaches?"

.

~~~ Our salesman at the electronics store was pitching a high- definition television.

A fellow shopper, overhearing the spiel, mentioned that he'd upgraded his regular TV to high-def.
"How did you do that?" I asked.

"I dusted the screen, was the reply...

.

~~~ Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age.

It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

.

~~~ ponder this: Love is a choice, not simply, or necessarily a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for doing it.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

"Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. "

It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment and restraint."

Did you ever stop to think that paying alimony is like keeping up the payments on a car with four flats?

.

~~~ Fishin Pete and Gus were fishing.

For three hours neither of them moved a muscle.

Then Gus shifted his foot a couple of times.

Pete said, "That's the second time you've moved your foot in 20 minutes.

Did you come here to fish or to dance?"

.

.

.

.

Todays thought; A comic is a person who, when he dies, is at his wit's end.

Good Morning.....Every one......

.

These guys don't mind a bath now....They got no water there......

.

A Lynx....a beautful cat.........
.

Oh, my........

.

Bend over and see how far he can send you........

.

Friends........

.

Good size cat.........

.

Gotta carry the water for that big Cat.........Why me.....

.

See what's inside your computer.......Maybe I need to update mine........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ There is a story about a monastery perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.

Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.
One tourist got exceedingly nervous about halfway up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With trembling voice, he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely,..... "Whenever it breaks."

.

~~~ we call that "Smoking"...resportory therapy in our hospital. because patients just know medical personal do not smoke!!!

.

~~~ Now, who can spell the word straight?"

the third-grade teacher asked her students."

S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t," answered one boy.
"Great job. And do you know what it means?"

"Without ice."

.

~~~ No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?"

.
~~~ DOCTOR: How are you doing with that new patient?
NURSE: He's a nuisance.

Yesterday he cried all day because he lost four teeth.
DOCTOR: That's wrong with that?

I'd be pretty upset if I lost four teeth.
NURSE: From his comb?

.

~~~ U.S. President Richard Nixon was not known for his social graces.

In 1974, he visited Paris, France, to attend the funeral of French president Georges Pompidou. While speaking during the ceremony, Nixon declared, "This is a great day for France!"

.

.

.

.

Todays thought; When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break........

.

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning...Everyone.... Well it's another Monday.....
Oh, the weather man screwed up yesterday...had a cool but nice day...
.

She's having a good day............just had breakfast...
.

Boy....is he small.........wow...

.

She'll take that kitten off your hands.............

.

No....she won't......I like birds.....bring it on....

.

I have only saw one of these, but I did see a couple all black ones........

.

I want nothing to do with them........

.

All this talk is making us sick.........

.

.

♥♥♥

~~~ It is recommended for your soul's sake to do each day two things you dislike.

It is a precept that I have followed scrupulously.

For every day.... I have got up and I have gone to bed.

.

~~~ It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.

As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.

'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.

Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

.
~~~ No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.

- John Adams

.

~~~ FIRST CAMPER: It sure is dark tonight.

SECOND CAMPER: I'll say.

I just saw an owl wearing eyeglasses.

.

~~~ On the way to church one Sunday, the parents of a pair of children tried to remind them how to behave appropriately in the church.

To make sure the children understood, their dad asked.

"Why must we be quiet in church?"

The answer came, "Because people are sleeping!"

.

~~~ Sherry said...Every morning, I do a mad dash to drop off my son Wyatt at day care so I can get to work on time.

My impatience hit home one morning when he piped up from the back of the car, "Our car is really fast and everyone else's is slow because they're all idiots, right, Mom?"

.

~~~ Warning Label on a blender: Not for use as an aquarium

.

~~~ A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park.

Her mother was touched by the child's kindness and gave her the dollar.

"There you are, my dear," said the mother.

"But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?"

"Oh yes," came the reply.

"She sells candy." .

.

.

.

.

Todays thought; Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☼~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning.......Nice weekend anybody...?
Looks like every ones busy, working or moving.
any way here's yesterdays sunrise.
.

None today....Cloudy....expecting snow.....
.

We could all go to Red Robin for a burger and onion rings..

sound good, "Witchy"?

.

She likes Mouse and voles....for lunch.....
.

Yah...right!

.

Take it on good authority....that's gonna leave a boo boo........

.

Boy,....does he look mad.............

.

I think this little fellow wondering whats going on.....?

.

Gotta have a toon once in awhile.........even if it's bad........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Patient: "Doctor, Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?"

Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."

.

~~~ Father: What did you get that little medal for?
Pete: For singing the camp talent show.
Father: What did you get that big metal for?
Pete: For stopping.

.

~~~ Gus figured out a way to remember his wife's birthday and their wedding anniversary.

He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed.

"Your loving husband."

His wife was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary.

Gus came home, saw the bouquet, kissed his wife, and said, "Nice flowers.....

Where'd you get them?"

.

~~~ A case manager at our mental-health facility sought a reference for a patient who was looking for a job.

"I'll vouch for him," offered another patient.

"We were roommates in prison."

.

~~~ I learned to swim at a very early age.

When I was three my parents used to row me out to sea in a little boat until they got about a mile or so away from the shore - then I had to swim back.

I quite liked the swim - it was getting out of the sack that was difficult.

.

~~~ Bobby phones a local chinese take away and asks " Hello there do you deliver"

The chinese guy replies!

" No Sur, We doo Chricken , We doo Pawrk, We doo Beeef but we not doo Liver

.

~~~ When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left his house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked.
"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit for a few weeks."

"How nice," I said.

"Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied.

"Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

.

~~~ Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

.

~~~ A recipe is a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, with utensils you don't own, to create a dish the dog wouldn't eat.

..

..

..

..

Todays thought: When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

.

............(¯`*•.(¯`*•.oOOo ( ^ . ^ ) oOOo.•*´¯).•*´¯)............