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A cute picture....but just wait.......
What can I say??
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What an ugly dog.....
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Food looks better in someone else's bowl..........
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Food??
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Looking for a fish from you........
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Oh...Oh................
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♥♥♥ Pete said;"How is your health these days?"
Gus said; "I sleep soundly and eat like a horse."
Pete "Let's leave your table manners out of this."
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~~~ THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative ...
2. Preliminary...
3. Proliferation...
4. Cinnamonand...
one more; no thanks, i've had enough.
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~~~ An old farmer's dog goes missing and he is inconsolable.
His wife says to him, "why don't you put an ad in the paper to get him back".
The farmer does this, but after two weeks the dog is still missing.
"What did you write in the paper?" asked his wife.
"Here boy," said the farmer.....
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~~~ "I've got a stomachache."
"That's because you haven't eaten.
Your stomach is empty-- that's why it hurts."
"Oh, is that why you have all those headaches?"
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~~~ Our salesman at the electronics store was pitching a high- definition television.
A fellow shopper, overhearing the spiel, mentioned that he'd upgraded his regular TV to high-def.
"How did you do that?" I asked.
"I dusted the screen, was the reply...
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~~~ Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age.
It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
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~~~ ponder this: Love is a choice, not simply, or necessarily a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.
Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for doing it.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
"Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. "
It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment and restraint."
Did you ever stop to think that paying alimony is like keeping up the payments on a car with four flats?
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~~~ Fishin Pete and Gus were fishing.
For three hours neither of them moved a muscle.
Then Gus shifted his foot a couple of times.
Pete said, "That's the second time you've moved your foot in 20 minutes.
Did you come here to fish or to dance?"
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Todays thought; A comic is a person who, when he dies, is at his wit's end.
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