Gonna be a warm 61º
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Kind of rare........
I just don't know...........
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I'd say you do........
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Man....that looks dangerous.........
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Nice last ride........
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Wow....What can I say....?
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Clean chick...??
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♥♥♥
~~~ One day she was sitting on the porch and I said, "Granny, how old does a woman get before she don't want no more boyfriends?"
(She was around 106 then.)
She said, "I don't know, honey.
You have to ask somebody older than me."
She said, "A woman is a woman as long as she lives; But there's a certain time in a man's life when he has to go to a place called Over the Hill."
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~~~ Our lawn was under attack by moles, so I bought a havahart trap and, voila! caught one.
"Honey," I called to my wife. "Look!
What should I do with it?"She replied, "Bury it."
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~~~ You sure gotta slip a lot of people some unmarked cash to get into this Capitol Building here in Washington, at least that’s what they say about The Chicago Way.
But I wonder who that sad crumpled scrap of paper is?
I'm just a Stimulus bill.
Yes, I'm only a big fat pork barrel bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey To the capital-less shanty.
It's a long, long wait While I'm in Harry Reid’s committee, But I know I'll be a criminal law someday.
At least I hope (and pay off a few moderates) so I will, But today I’m still just a Stimulus bill. .
~~~ A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper.
"Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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~~~ A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars.
The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.
Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000.
He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips.
Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.
He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn't run out.
So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red.
He returned to his hotel room.
"How did you do?" asked the bride.
The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars."
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~~~ I know an oral surgeon who didn't have much in the way of social skills.
They had seated a paraplegic in the examining room for a consult.
When the doctor strolled into the room, oblivious to the wheelchair outside, he extended his hand for a handshake and as the patient leaned forward to shake hands he said, "Don't get up." The patient just said, "Don't worry." .
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Todays thoughts: If you don't know where you are going,
you will probably end up somewhere else.
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