Down Hummingbird Lane

Good morning....got a bunch of birds today.........

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I got my eye on you.....................................

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I'm watching them birds........I wanna jump on them......

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And I'm watching that cat.....

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Yep....we are watching too..............

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What can I say..........

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Go away...we don't have anything to eat.....your not getting my donut....

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Chicken nuggets ???

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Not Me....Eeuuuuuuu.....

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♥♥♥

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~~~

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

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~~~ Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning.

My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.
He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him.

I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on.
"Hi," a voice said.

"This is Dad...... I'm locked out of the house."

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~~~ Little Johnny and his grandfather entered the vacation cabin, and kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed them in.

Noticing them before his grandfather did, Little Johnny whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.

The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights...."

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~~~ A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.

What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled ...."The meaning of dreams".

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~~~ If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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~~~ THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR ......
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!

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Todays thought: There are spaces between our fingers so that another person's fingers can fill them in.