Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning......Look out TEXAS.....IKE is visiting...................
☼






I don't know..................................................................................

What is that ?.............................................................................

Wake up...what is it?..................................................................

Wheeeeee...................................................................................

Now thats funny..........................................................................

Yep........................................................................................................................

Wow, that scared me.................................................................

☼

A woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy along with her seven-year-old son.

Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"

"What do you say?" she said.

He replied, "You're thin and beautiful."

The woman reached into her purse and gave her son the money.

☼

While earning my master's degree, I worked as an assistant in psysiology lab.

One class experiment involved monitoring a student's heart rate, breathing and blood flow as the subject exercised or performed other tasks.

Student were asked to come up with ways to excite the subject such as pouring ice down his back.

Suddenly, a female student sat down on his lap and gave him a long passionate kiss.

When the measurements finally returned to normal, the young man turned to the woman and said, "Let's do that again, and take an average."

☼

To treat my bronchitis, the doctor pulled out his prescription pad. "This is for Zithromax," he said as he wrote, then muttered, "Mypenzadyne."

I was familiar with the antibiotic Zithromax but not the other drug. "What's Mypenzadyne?"

He looked confused for a second, then enunciated slowly, "My pen is dying."

☼

One evening I was driving my six-year-son to soccer practice.

we were going through a playground zone beside the field, an obviously impatient woman sped by us on the right.

"Daddy, that woman stuck her middle finger up at us!" Nolan exclaimed.

I explained that it was not a polite thing to do, and that perhaps she was having a very bad day.

"Don't worry, Dad," he reassured me, "I stuck mine right back up at her."

☼

Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico.

While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.

"Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased.

Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot."

☼

I'm planning to be celibate....I just haven't started yet.
Socialite Paris Hilton.

Middle age is when women stop worrying about being pregnant,

and men start worrying they look like they are.