Good Morning....somebody......

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I don't think she likes to be petted........

A super hero?

I can fix them........

Take that.........

Now that's a wedgie...........

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After months of anticipation, the day finally arrived for the birth of our first child.

My wife, and I drove to the hospital, and after a long and exhausting labor, our beautiful baby boy was born.

"Congratulations!" the doctor exclaimed.

"That was the hardest labor you'll ever have to go through."

"Apparently," Gus observed, "you've never hung wallpaper."

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A rabbit walked into a restaurant with a lion.

The waiter seats them and asks the rabbit, "What will you have?"

The rabbit says bring me a half a head of lettuce.

The waiter looks at the lion and says; and what will he have?

The rabbit says "The lion?" he's not eating".

The waiter says "why? Isn’t he hungry?"

Then the rabbit says; "if he was hungry do you think I'd be here?"

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It was raspberry-picking time, and my five-year-old son, Andrew, and I headed to Grandpa's house to help him pick.

As we arrived, Grandma passed out the buckets and containers, but Andrew was already in the raspberry patch.

"Andrew," Grandpa asked him, "would you like a bucket?"

"No, thank you, Grandpa," Andrew responded, "I have my mouth."

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Most people own a slim volume that can help them make their decisions about where to spend their summer vacations.

This item is called a checkbook.