Good Morning, Readers..... Hope everyone is doing Okay?
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This is this mornings Sunrise.......

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A star wars winter??.....

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Beggin for my pancakes......but he's not getting any....

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Gonna love you to death.....

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Just what you always wanted....

Singing in the rain.....

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I don't want anyone to see how fat I am!!

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I told you not to get so damn close......

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Summerld's breakfast cereal........

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Oh, My...I'm gonna leave on this pic.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ Second Hand Boat

A friend was looking for a second hand boat (a Laser) to
buy, when he hit on a great idea...
At his sailing club (the Queen Mary in London) there was a
large trailer park and a smaller yard where the management
put trailers and boats if the owner didn't pay their
membership for 12 months.
The Queen Mary club is very big and at the time there were three
or four Lasers in this yard that judging from their condition hadn't been
sailed for at least a year.
My friend took down the numbers of these boats and asked the club
secretary for the owners address so that he could make them an offer.
The first chap he rang said he wasn't interested in selling as he
was going to sail it himself "one of these days".
He then rang the second owner who lived about 100 miles away.
A woman answered the phone and confirmed that they did
still own the Laser.
My friend explained that he had seen it in the defaulters yard and that
as it clearly hadn't been sailed for a year - did she think her husband
would be interested in selling?
"Oh no" she said "there must be some mistake - come rain or shine
my husband spends one weekend a month in London sailing..."
I bet he had some explaining to do when he got home!

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~~ A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Richerdson's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Richerdson."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Richerdson's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

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~~ If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.

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~~ "I have no respect for gangs today...... None.......
They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other."


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~~ One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying
hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when
I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very
erotic porn magazine!
What ever are we going to do???"
"Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

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~~ When the Jones family moved into their new house,
a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place.
"It's terrific," he said.
"I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own
room.
But poor mom is still in with dad."

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~~ My job as an aerospace engineer required a tight online
security- screening check involving minor details about all family members.
When it came to the final entry regarding my father, I put the status as
"deceased" and tried to submit the form.
However, the system kept rejecting the entry, with the message:
"Incomplete input, please enter address."
Frustrated, I typed in "York Cemetery" and it finally got accepted.

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~~ why do chicken coops have two doors?
because if they had four doors
they'd be called chicken sedans.

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~~ I was casting kids for our annual Christmas play, and I was giving
out choices, such as shepherd, lamb, villager. One five-year-old boy
couldn't decide, so I said, "Luke, you can be a villager."
He said, "Okay" and ran over to his parents.
Very excited, he said to them, "Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!"

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~~ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf,
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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Todays thought:  Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)

#857

Good Morning....Friends, neighbors and Spammers.....
Commits go through me first.....spam not welcome.....
Some people are heard headed.. or stupid.....
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Got plenty of icecicles.....

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Is breakfast ready yet......
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I thought you would want this.....

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Well, they think thats funny......

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Are you winking at me??

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Any one want a job? their hiring........

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Damn, just what I need.... A spin decoder.....

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Wow....What do you make of this?

Gonna look bad at 90 yrs. old.............

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Will this make me forget, what I saw??

or take the memory away?

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♥♥♥

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~~ Driving back from C-ville, I stopped at a vegetable stand.

It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd.
I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn, then opened
the cashbox to pay.
Taped to the inside of the lid was this note: "The dog can count."

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~~ Dave irritated everyone in our office.
Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude,
we all steered clear.
He must have suspected he was annoying because he asked
a co- worker, "Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?"
Larry responded, "It saves time."

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~~ Lingerie shop sign: "Like the government, we give aid to
underdeveloped areas."

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~~ I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses.
I don't know why she does.
Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school?
But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though.
She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart.
She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,'
but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"

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~~ Driving along a country road, I ignored a Bridge Out sign and
continued on.
But in a few miles I came to a stop: the road was completely
barricaded.
So I turned around and retraced my route.
That's when I saw this sign on the back of the first:
"It was, wasn't it?"

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~~ What do you have if a bird and a dog get into the camp loudspeaker
system?
A tweeter and a woofer.

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~~ Enroute to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach
section of the airplane dialing her cell phone.
"Excuse me.
That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her.
"Besides, we're over the ocean—you won't get a signal out here."
"That's okay," she said.
"I'm just calling my daughter.
She's sitting up in first class."

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~~ The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.

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~~ A Texas lad rushed home from kindergarten class and insisted
his mother buy him a set of pencils, holsters, and a gun belt.
"Whatever for, dear?" his mother asked.
"You're not going to tell me you need them for school?"
"Yes, I do," he replied.
"Teacher said that tomorrow she's going to teach us how to draw."

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~~ The soldier had been in training for six weeks before he was finally
given leave.
"Darling," he wrote to his wife,"I'll be arriving at the airport on Sunday.
But let me warn you: You'd better reserve a hotel room nearby."
Just before he left, the soldier received this note from his wife:
"Darling," it said, "I'll be there to meet you.
But let me warn you: You'd better be the first guy off the plane."

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~~ A Truck ran a red light, almost side swiping our car.
As my husband veered away, he threw his arm across me,
protecting me from a possible collision.
I was ready to plant a big kiss on my hero's cheek when he apologized.
In his haste, he admitted, he had forgotten it was me in the front seat
and not our Golden Retriver Champ.
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Todays Thought;  Class reunions are where people get together to see who is falling apart.

(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)

Good Morning,,Friends ans neighbors.... We still got snoe on the ground..
It's usally gone by now.... Summerld and Snowman sent the snow
down to us..... We owe ya.... payback is a dog......
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Still goes lot on the ground.....

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Ny cats don't like it ether, cold on their feet....

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Good lookin pups.....

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Okay, Okay I'm opening the can now!!

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Oh, My....Bubba...dom't shoot...I give up....

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Now..thats cool.......

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No, no, Hoopie....that's jail time...

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Wake up!! your stop was 3 blocks back....

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Ninja cat?..I still don't like hairless cats.....

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No, SIR....No problem...I'm leaving..Sir.

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♥♥♥

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~~ When filing your income tax remember that it is better to give than to deceive..

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~~ When Rod's wife ran away he got so depressed that his doctor

sent him to see a psychiatrist.
Rod told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living."
"Don't be stupid, Rod," said the psychiatrist.
"Let work be your salvation.
I want you to totally submerge yourself in your work.
Now, What do you do for a living?"
"I clean out septic tanks." Rod replied.

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~~ A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig.
The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, Does this mean that I cannot call
Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no
fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said...
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!"

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~~ red adair was unavailable, and there was a well fire that could not be
put out.
The secretary overhears the foremans conversations,
and says my brothers and his friends can put it out! no??
The foreman says, if your brother and his friends can put it out,
I'll pay them a million dollars!
The next morning at dawn, a truck load of rednecks comes flying down
the dirt road leading to the well. the truck smashes into the well,
it temporarly stops spewing crude, and the rednecks get off the truck,
and start kicking dirt on it.
The fire is put out.
the foreman says to Jim-bob, that was amazing!!!
Heres your million bucks... what do you plan to do with it!!!
then Jim-bob says, well the first thing I plan to do is fix the brakes on
that damn truck!!!!

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~~ While driving cross-country, a driver noticed a large sign above a
gas station.
It read, "State line 2 miles. Last chance for $1.92 cent gas."
The driver checked his gas gauge and decided to fill up.
"By the way," he said to the attendant before driving away,
"just how much is gas in the next state?"
"Oh," said the attendant, "about $1.80 cents a gallon."

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~~ At the supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby.
Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out,
"Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at
least ten minutes!"
The boys fell silent for a few seconds.
Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly,
"Excuse me, miss."

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~~ Q: What's the difference between a church and a movie theater?
A: In church they say, "Pray in the name of Jesus."
In a movie theater they say, "Shut up, for Christ's sake!"

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~~ The teacher was trying to impress upon her pupils the importance
of doing right at all times, and to bring out the answer, "Bad habits,"
she inquired: "What is it that we find so easy to get into and so hard to
get out of?"
There was silence for a moment and then one little fellow answered "Bed."

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~~ My wife I and are approaching our 76th birthdays, and for the
most part, we feel fine.
A few weeks ago we had just gotten into bed when I noticed my
wife taking an extra amount of time smoothing out her nightgown,
then pulling up the covers and smoothing them out, and then finally
going to work smoothing out her pillow.
After watching all this activity for a while, I finally asked,
"What are you doing?"
"Well," she replied, "I don't like to sleep on wrinkles."
I replied. "At our age, how can you avoid it?"

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~~ PATIENT: Will you give me something for my head?
DOCTOR: I wouldn't take it as a gift.
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Todays Thought;  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

#855

Good Morning Friends....Our first nice weekend in a quite awhile..
Clear, sunny and in the 40+'s......
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I don't like cats with no hair....looks weird...

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Now this is more like it.....

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What is this....A CAT BIRD??

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A tree climber....Huh.

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She's gonna jump.....

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I don't trust old Chinese men, they smoke weird stuff...

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Looks like he go a load on..... he's in good shape....

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Hope no one was using the johnny house.....

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What he sez;.......goes!

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♥♥♥

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~~ They just arrested a fellow who talks dirty to plants.

Caught him making an obscene fern call.

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~~ Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf --
Because for them, it's too much like their work --
you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.

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~~ "Power lunches are passe," said one business person to another.
"Today, the fashionable meal is the economy lunch."
"You mean brown-bagging it?" asked his companion.
"No, I mean beef broth for an appetizer and mince pie for dessert.
It's called making both ends meat."

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~~ "I'll have you know," said the snob to his date,
"my father is a prominent man in this town.
He's a Lion...A Moose...and an Elk."
"Wow!" said the young woman, "and what do you charge to see him?"

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~~ Two cows are standing in a field.
First cow says, " Are you worried about this whole Mad Cow disease?"
Second one answers, "Why should I worry? I'm a squirrel."

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~~ Thunder cracked. I could barely see the trees through the downpour.
My five-year-old son, Cody, was out there.
His friend had said Cody was on his way home, but he still hadn't arrived.
Now it was raining. I grabbed my raincoat and ran out the door.
and there was Cody, coming up the drive with a huge, shaggy,
yellow dog!
The dog waited quietly on the porch while I dried Cody off inside.
"The thunder was scary," Cody said.
"But that big dog came so I wasn't scared anymore.
I named him Gabriel."
Go get some dry clothes while I fetch Gabriel some food,"
If Gabriel's a stray, I thought as I put some cold cuts in a bowl,
then he's just found himself a home!
Every boy needed a guardian angel, after all.
But when I stepped out on the porch the dog was gone.
Cody and I looked around the yard.
"I guess he just disappeared," I said finally.
Cody nodded...... "God probably sent him to help someone else."

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~~ Very Short Lists:
1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors
2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran
3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery
4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service
5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus
6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes
7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services
8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's
9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops
10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups

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~~ Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

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~~ Is there any bigger feeling of complete relief than when you pick
your Laptop up from the Repair Shop and the police are not there
waiting for you?
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Todays thought:  The man of worth is really great without being proud;

the mean man is proud without being really great.

                    (ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)

Good Morning....Friends... Hope your having a great week??
A great weekend coming up...
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Don't worry...he's the lookout for the rabbits below.....

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Their enjoying breakfast.....they got the nibbles......

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I....2....3....... no!...NO!

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Keepa fingers off the puppy, or lose them.....

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How many cats does it take to change a light bulb....

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Does he bite?? what is it??

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Amazing art done entirely with staples!

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Damn...It must be really bumpy....

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Spammers are Stupid.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ 'Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbequeing a Chicken

on a manual rotisserie.
A drunk comes walking along and says, "Hey, man...
The music's Stopped, and your monkey''s on fire!"

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~~ The ancients knew about walking in the dark.
That is why they developed foot lamps.
These were small lamps that were tied onto the feet.
They did not cast much light, but they did shed enough for the night
walker to see where he was putting his next foot.

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~~ "Well, Max," said the young boy's parents,
"what would you like for your birthday?"
Thinking hard, he said, "I wanna watch."
So on the night of his birthday, they let him.

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~~ I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel
every day.

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~~ According to the traditional account, the invention of Melba toast
was a serendipitous accident.
While staying at the Savoy Hotel in London, Dame Nellie Melba ordered
some toast - which, left too long in the oven, was served despite its
thin, parched, and delicate state.
When the maitre d,' apprised of the gastronomical gaffe,
hastened to apologize, Mrs. Melba interrupted him:
The toast, she proclaimed, was delicious.

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~~ Q: What would you get if you crossed an airplane, an automobile,
and a dog?
A: A flying car-pet.

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~~ A keen amateur boxer, the billionaire oil baron John Paul Getty
frequently visited the gym where Jack Dempsey trained.
One day he asked Dempsey to spar with him for a while.
Happy with his early performance in the ring,
Getty asked Dempsey to hit him a little harder.
Dempsey kindly obliged...and promply knocked him out.

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~~ While visiting my daughter Marni and her family, I told my
five- year-old granddaughter, Lucy that I had brought a bedskirt to
match her freshly painted room.
She looked a bit confused, and watched quietly while her mom and
I put it on the bed.
Then I asked her what she thought of it.
"It's okay," Lucy replied.
"But now you'll have to get bed pants for my brother!"

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~~ Two blonds are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blonds leans
inside and asks the bus driver:'
'Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''
The bus driver shakes his head and says,'
'No, I'm sorry.'
At this the other blond leans inside, smiles, and twitters: '
'Will it take ME ?'

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~~ While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group
of medical students.
“As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula
and tibia are radically arched.”
The doctor turns to one of the students and asks,
“What would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp, too.”
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Todays Thought:  On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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