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This is this mornings Sunrise.......
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A star wars winter??.....
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Beggin for my pancakes......but he's not getting any....
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Gonna love you to death.....
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Just what you always wanted....
Singing in the rain.....
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I don't want anyone to see how fat I am!!
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I told you not to get so damn close......
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Summerld's breakfast cereal........
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Oh, My...I'm gonna leave on this pic.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Second Hand Boat
A friend was looking for a second hand boat (a Laser) to
buy, when he hit on a great idea...
At his sailing club (the Queen Mary in London) there was a
large trailer park and a smaller yard where the management
put trailers and boats if the owner didn't pay their
membership for 12 months.
The Queen Mary club is very big and at the time there were three
or four Lasers in this yard that judging from their condition hadn't been
sailed for at least a year.
My friend took down the numbers of these boats and asked the club
secretary for the owners address so that he could make them an offer.
The first chap he rang said he wasn't interested in selling as he
was going to sail it himself "one of these days".
He then rang the second owner who lived about 100 miles away.
A woman answered the phone and confirmed that they did
still own the Laser.
My friend explained that he had seen it in the defaulters yard and that
as it clearly hadn't been sailed for a year - did she think her husband
would be interested in selling?
"Oh no" she said "there must be some mistake - come rain or shine
my husband spends one weekend a month in London sailing..."
I bet he had some explaining to do when he got home!
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~~ A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Richerdson's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Richerdson."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Richerdson's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
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~~ If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
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~~ "I have no respect for gangs today...... None.......
They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other."
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~~ One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying
hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when
I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very
erotic porn magazine!
What ever are we going to do???"
"Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
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~~ When the Jones family moved into their new house,
a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place.
"It's terrific," he said.
"I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own
room.
But poor mom is still in with dad."
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~~ My job as an aerospace engineer required a tight online
security- screening check involving minor details about all family members.
When it came to the final entry regarding my father, I put the status as
"deceased" and tried to submit the form.
However, the system kept rejecting the entry, with the message:
"Incomplete input, please enter address."
Frustrated, I typed in "York Cemetery" and it finally got accepted.
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~~ why do chicken coops have two doors?
because if they had four doors
they'd be called chicken sedans.
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~~ I was casting kids for our annual Christmas play, and I was giving
out choices, such as shepherd, lamb, villager. One five-year-old boy
couldn't decide, so I said, "Luke, you can be a villager."
He said, "Okay" and ran over to his parents.
Very excited, he said to them, "Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!"
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~~ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf,
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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Todays thought: Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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