Rain and snow again today......
I'm waiting for spring.......
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No wonder I feel funny this morning.....
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He's saying; Did I read that right??
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I just don't think this will work....
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I DON"T LIKE SPIDERS......
A wolf spider with her babys.....
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He don't like spiders ether......
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Big "Mac Pants"??
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I don't like this clown..looks mean..
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What can you say??
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I thought these were Funny.... some of these are really funny.
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Telling like it is.......
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♥♥♥
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~~ As a commercial diver in the offshore oil fields of the Gulf of Mexico,
I was assigned to a job on board a derrick barge.
After my dive I spent the required time in the decompression chamber,
and went to bed.
Later I walked into the TV room, where I was surprised to see the entire
dive crew sitting around.
I asked one colleague, dressed in his wet suit, why work had stopped.
Without looking up at me, he replied, "It's raining."
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~~ While I was paying for my items in a local store, the man behind me
laid his purchases on the counter.
Among them was a large, flowery birthday card with
"To my wonderful wife" printed on the front.
The clerk said, "You've chosen our biggest and prettiest card."
The man nodded sadly and replied, "One day late."
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~~ When a womancomplained of difficulty breathing, Clay, and his
partner -- both EMTs -- rushed to her home.
Clay placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood
oxygen.
Then he began to gather her information. "What's your age?" he asked.
"Fifty-eight," answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her
finger.
"What does that do?"
"It's a lie detector," said Clay with a straight face.
"Now, what did you say your age was?"
"Sixty-seven," answered the woman sheepishly.
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~~ A job application made me do a double take.
After the entry "Sex," the applicant had written, "Once in Florida."
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~~ Comes a certain day in spring when an indefinable softness creeps
into the air.
And, as naturally as they breathe, small boys and not-so-small boys
respond to a secret signal and march out to the fields with kites.
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~~ Some of Peter Falk's favorite pranks involved removing his glass
eye.
Once during a Little League game he was called out on a play at
home plate.
Peter disagreed and handed his glass eye to the umpire, saying,
"I think you need this more than I do."
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~~ My friend, Pete , a fledgling cook, explained how
his eyes watered when he sliced onions.
Trying to be helpful, I told him his eyes wouldn't tear if he cut
the onions under water.
"Well, yes," he said, "but how do you breathe?"
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~~ A loving mother teaches her child to walk alone.
She holds out her arms, yet too far away to actually support him.
Her face beckons.
The child strives toward her embrace, emphasizing his need for her
at the very moment he is proving that he can do without her.
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~~ One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing
a cart through the supermarket parking lot.
Ever courteous, he insisted on taking it over for her.
The woman struggled alongside, doing her best to keep up.
At the entrance he said, "Here you go, ma'am," and gave the cart back
to her.
Catching her breath, she said, "Thank you, but I was using it to lean on."
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~~ My five year old daughter asked me the question I'd been dreading.
"Mommy , how are babies made?"
I did my best to explain but she still looked confused.
"What about kittens? She asked.
"Well it's exactly then same way, " I said.
"Wow!" she said excitedly...... "My daddy can do anything"
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Todays Thought; Having lawyers create laws is like having doctors create diseases!
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