#857

Good Morning....Friends, neighbors and Spammers.....
Commits go through me first.....spam not welcome.....
Some people are heard headed.. or stupid.....
☺

Got plenty of icecicles.....

☺

Is breakfast ready yet......
☺

I thought you would want this.....

☺

Well, they think thats funny......

☺

Are you winking at me??

☺

Any one want a job? their hiring........

☺

Damn, just what I need.... A spin decoder.....

☺

Wow....What do you make of this?

Gonna look bad at 90 yrs. old.............

☺

Will this make me forget, what I saw??

or take the memory away?

☺

♥♥♥

☺

~~ Driving back from C-ville, I stopped at a vegetable stand.

It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd.
I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn, then opened
the cashbox to pay.
Taped to the inside of the lid was this note: "The dog can count."

☺
~~ Dave irritated everyone in our office.
Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude,
we all steered clear.
He must have suspected he was annoying because he asked
a co- worker, "Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?"
Larry responded, "It saves time."

☺
~~ Lingerie shop sign: "Like the government, we give aid to
underdeveloped areas."

☺
~~ I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses.
I don't know why she does.
Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school?
But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though.
She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart.
She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,'
but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"

☺
~~ Driving along a country road, I ignored a Bridge Out sign and
continued on.
But in a few miles I came to a stop: the road was completely
barricaded.
So I turned around and retraced my route.
That's when I saw this sign on the back of the first:
"It was, wasn't it?"

☺
~~ What do you have if a bird and a dog get into the camp loudspeaker
system?
A tweeter and a woofer.

☺
~~ Enroute to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach
section of the airplane dialing her cell phone.
"Excuse me.
That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her.
"Besides, we're over the ocean—you won't get a signal out here."
"That's okay," she said.
"I'm just calling my daughter.
She's sitting up in first class."

☺
~~ The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.

☺
~~ A Texas lad rushed home from kindergarten class and insisted
his mother buy him a set of pencils, holsters, and a gun belt.
"Whatever for, dear?" his mother asked.
"You're not going to tell me you need them for school?"
"Yes, I do," he replied.
"Teacher said that tomorrow she's going to teach us how to draw."

☺
~~ The soldier had been in training for six weeks before he was finally
given leave.
"Darling," he wrote to his wife,"I'll be arriving at the airport on Sunday.
But let me warn you: You'd better reserve a hotel room nearby."
Just before he left, the soldier received this note from his wife:
"Darling," it said, "I'll be there to meet you.
But let me warn you: You'd better be the first guy off the plane."

☺
~~ A Truck ran a red light, almost side swiping our car.
As my husband veered away, he threw his arm across me,
protecting me from a possible collision.
I was ready to plant a big kiss on my hero's cheek when he apologized.
In his haste, he admitted, he had forgotten it was me in the front seat
and not our Golden Retriver Champ.
☺
☺
Todays Thought;  Class reunions are where people get together to see who is falling apart.

(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)