Good Morning....friends....I swear I think I have the slowest dial-up there is....
Heavy rain this afternoon...
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Worlds most ugliest cat...... I think he's cool....
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Got his ride with him, just in case.............

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Just hanging out.............................

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Cute.......huh?

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Another one just hanging out.......

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I hope I don't see this near here.....I waiting for warm weather..

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Want to go swimming? she's waiting for breakfast.....

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♥♥♥

~~~ During my 40-mile daily commute, I pass a horse pasture.

One spring I noticed a mare that was heavy with her foal.

Each day I took note of her expanding form; then one morning, she was gone.

I became concerned, and I wondered if she was all right.

Three days after her disappearance, a huge sign appeared in the pasture:

"It's a boy!"

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~~~ Frustrated at my attempts to find something suitable for my diminutive daughter to wear that didn't look like something for a child, I approached a rather harried-looking saleswoman. “What do you have for a petite woman about five feet tall, around 95 to 100 pounds?”

The short, pleasantly plump clerk looked at me with a rueful smile.

“Nothing but contempt,” she said.

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~~~ It was a busy lunch hour, made longer by one of my customers who couldn't make up his mind about what to order.

After loudly polling everyone at his table, he asked me, "What do you think I should have?"
Before I could answer, an irritated man at the next table offered a suggestion:

"How about a picnic?"

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~~~ When a girl tells you she's insulted on the streets three of four times every day it's hard to tell whether she's bragging or complaining.

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~~~ A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they got to talking.

The lawyer mentioned, “I’m here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire.

The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer.

“I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood.

My insurance company, too, paid for everything.

”There was a brief pause, and hen the puzzled lawyer asked,.....

“How do you start a flood?”

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~~~ "Now Johnny," said the teacher, "if the phone were to ring in the middle of the night at your house, what might it mean?"
"The bill is paid."

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Todays thought: Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

Good Morning.....Well, it's a lot of difference this morning from yesterday.
(My friends in Canada sent it down...they were envious.) ha-ha...
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Snow flurries this morning......then rain......
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He's watching..................................

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I couldn't do this.......but I bet he gets a good picture..........

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This is a nice looking pair............

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Look out!... this bird loves ice cream.......

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Look who's hung over...... must of had a whopper of a party last night......

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Hey...you guys, hold the noise down....upstairs is hung over......

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Now thats cool.......But it would never make it to florida.....

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♥♥♥

~~~ A young boy, about 8 years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks out a huge box of laundry detergent.

The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
“Nope, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog!”
“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog.

It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick.

In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.

The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

“Oh, he died,” the boy said sadly.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”

“Well,” the boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”

“Oh? What was it then?”
“I think it was the spin cycle!”

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~~~ Sign in supermarket reads "Wanted: Clerk to work eight hours a day, to replace the clerk who didn't."

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~~~ Sign displayed in gift shop: "Don't write letters, send flowers.

They can't be read in court."

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~~~ We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog.

When we heard a noise at night we'd bark ourselves.

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~~~ A racehorse owner asked his jockey why he didn't ride his mount through a hole when it opened up just before the final turn.

"I tried," replied the jockey.

"But it is impossible to go through a hole that is going faster than your horse."

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~~~ Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf...
Jesus tees up - 400 YARDS!! straight down the middle of the fairway.

Moses tees off - 450 YARDS!!! Dead Center!

The old man tees off - 30 yards and a shank into the woods.

just then a gopher runs out of the woods with ball in his mouth.

An eagle swoops down out of the sky, grabs the gopher in his talons, and flies off.
Then a bolt of lightning comes out of the clear blue sky, strikes the eagle who lets go of the gopher; the gopher lands on the green, the ball rolls out of his mouth STRAIGHT INTO the cup!!

Jesus sez: "Nice shot, Dad!"

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~~~ Now that baseball season is upon us, I'd like to address the fact that women know nothing about baseball!

If you ask a woman to choose between catching a pop fly or saving a babies life; they choose the baby every time
Without EVEN considering if there are men on base?

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Todays thought: The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.

Good Morning....everyone.......I can't get over the weather....
Now, we got a wintery mix coming in the morning...
someone must have not liked one picture yesterday........
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This mornings sunrise...........
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Mom cat.....she's my favorite, and my oldest.......

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You don't want to be around him when he's drunk.................

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He's a happy dog.......................................

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Got a bunch of these Blue Jays around Hummingbird lane.......

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A pretty picture......

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We don't have any of these... So I don't know what they are......

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♥♥♥

~~~ Bobbie told me......."Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter."

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~~~ really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a dept. store and asks - "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers.......................

"D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

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~~~ one day a mother took her 6-year-old son with her to visit a friend at work.

Everyone there knew her, and she was offered a cup of coffee.
That day, as one of the employees went to make more coffee, her son followed her and asked, "What are you doing?"
"I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered.

Imagine the woman's shock when she heard her son say, "Wow! You know how to make beer?"

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~~~ Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling.

So, when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight.
I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f.

In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your soft- ware."
A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be dephective."

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~~~ Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo.

As I handed my ten-year-old passport and the new picture to the clerk, I sighed, "I like the original better."

"Trust me," she said, "ten years from now, you'll like this one."

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~~~ A student is sitting at an astronomy lecture in college, when the professor mentions,“In about 15 billion years, the sun will burn out and all life on earth will cease to exist.”

“Excuse me, professor, did you say 5 billion years or 15 billion?”

“15 billion.”

“whew, thanks, because I was really getting worried.”

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~~~ There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"

The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"

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~~~ In the middle of the night, a grumpy Gus, answered the telephone with "This is the wrong idiot, you number!"

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~~~ Jim Todd, Oakland A's pitcher, who worked in a bank in the off- season:

"I don't think I'll continue in banking.

There's not enough money in it."

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Todays Thought; Those who fall in love with themselves will have no rivals.

Well....Good Morning...Friends..
Hope the week is going good for you....
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I thing he should have took it easy around the curve........
Oh Well...the house needed some new roofing anyway....
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He's greedy..........................................

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Anyone want a heart attack ? You'll need a Rooter job after this.....

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Brown cow.....................................

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Reach out and touch someone...... These guys are boomers......

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Damn...He's hung over, and youall's gotta make all that noise.....??

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He thinks it's funny....................................

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♥♥♥

~~~ One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn't be late for church.

As she ran she kept praying, "Dear God, please don't let me be late to church.

Please don't let me be late to church...."

As she was running she tripped and fell.
When she got back up she began praying again...

"Please, God don't let me be late to church -- but don't shove me either!

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~~~ It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!"
The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room.

"Where is he?" she asked.
"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel.
The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.
"It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly.

"And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"
"The dresser!" screamed the old lady.

"Try standing on the dresser!"

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~~~ A guy down at the club asks me, hey, Pete, what do women really want out of life.

Pete says security, that's the ticket. he says.

And how do you know that, I replied.

Because everytime I approach one at the bar, she starts yelling, SECURUTY SECURITY SECURITY !!

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~~~ I recently bought a bottle of brown sauce which carried the warning 'Do not use if seal is broken'.

As soon as I opened it, the seal broke, immediately rendering it unusable.
I was wondering, how many other old geezers like me have fallen for this evil scam?

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~~~ At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.

The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,
"No, just engrave it:

To My One And Only Love.

That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

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~~~ President Theodore Roosevelt's enthusiasm for exercise posed a continual challenge to Washington's diplomatic corps.

On one White House visit, Jusserand (medieval English scholar and diplomat) was invited - after two sets of tennis - to go jogging.

A workout with the medicine ball followed.

Then, his guest's enthusiasm apparently flagging,
Roosevelt asked, "What would you like to do now?"

"If it's all the same to you," the exhausted Jasserand sighed, "lie down and die."

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~~~ The two commuters struck up a conversation on the economic situation of the country. "It's hard to collect money," said Gus.
"How do you know?" asked Pete.

"Are you a collector?"
"No" said Gus........... "But lots of people have tried to collect money from me lately."

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Todays Thoughts: If everything is under control, you're moving too slowly.

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Good Morning....Well, another good day......
Went out and got some sunrise pictures......
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These are some good sunrises.........
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Another one from the fence line, beside Hummingbird Lane.....

Reminds me.....gotta get the feeders out....

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Okay, now for a few baby pictures........Cute huh?

. Just wait......you won't pet later......

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these are cuties.....................

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Don't reach for the baby.....Mommy don't like that......

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Cutie pie..........

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Drink your milk........
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♥♥♥
~~~ Quite a scare in Washington, D.C. today.
Police were called to the White House.
Apparently President Obama was in a meeting with some potential Cabinet nominees when someone noticed a suspicious- looking document on the table that no one had ever seen before. Turns out it was just a tax form.
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~~~ Even when the man of the house runs the show, the woman of the house directs the script, operates the camera, and edits the film.
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~~~ Gus and Pete were commenting on how lazy their sons were.
Pete pointed out his son sitting on the back porch steps, holding his stomach and rocking back and forth, moaning.
Gus " What's wrong with him?"
Pete said,"He's hungry and too lazy to get him something to eat."
Gus brought Pete to his house and pointed to his son, Jr, sitting on the back porch steps, holding his stomach and rocking back and forth , moaning.
Pete asked, "Man, what's wrong with him?"
Gus said," he's sitting on a nail and he's too lazy to get up."
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~~~ "I used to be an airline pilot.
I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane.
They caught me on a 20-foot extension ladder with a coathanger."
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~~~ The judge was very stern with the woman.
"You are the wife of this man," he said severely.
"You knew he was a burglar when you married him?""Yes," she replied.
"I was getting old and had to choose between a burglar and a lawyer."
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~~~ Gus: I'm going to the blood bank.Pete: Don't bother. They want blood, not crud.
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~~~ On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.
Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
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Todays thoughts: Income tax: To have and have not.

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<☼>>>>>>>>>>>>

Good Morning ... everyone. Well its a very nice day.......
I think they moved Florida weather up here.........
Now if a certain lady came too.....

This lady has to put her face on.......

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These Moose has some long legs......

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Great landing "Bubba".............

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Cute baby...............

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This baby Aardvark is ugly.....

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Now shes cute.....................

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Look out guys....the boss is here.........

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Our man "ENO"

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♥♥♥

~~~ PATIENT: I didn't sleep a wink last night.

NURSE: Did you try counting sheep?

PATIENT: I couldn't see them.

It was too dark.

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~~~ The lady was one of the new rich and, not wishing to appear a snob, invited her old friends to the house.

She was now taking them on a tour of the establishment and had reached the room where they would dine that evening.

These knives and forks are solid silver," she said, "Even the chains they're fastened to have real emeralds."

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~~~ COUNSELOR: Trudy, what are you going to do in the camp talent show?
TRUDY: Imitations.
COUNSELOR: Great - let's hear one.
TRUDY: I love you-ouch! I love you-ouch!
COUNSELOR: I give up. Who are you imitating?
TRUDY: Two porcupines kissing.

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~~~ A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.

He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.

The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out.

This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

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~~~ Wife gets naked and asks her husband,“What turns you on more…

my pretty face or my sexy body?”

Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, “Your sense of humor.”

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~~~ Mother was getting dinner ready, when in walks Johnny, with a grin.

Mother: “So what have you been up to this morning?”

Johnny: “I’ve been playing Postman.”

Mother: “How can you do that when you have no letters?”

Johnny: “I found a whole bunch of your letters in the trunk upstairs.

I tied a pretty ribbon on each one and slid one under each of our neighbors’ door.”

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~~~ You know you're a mom when, you cry at all firsts of the firstborn: the first day of kindergarten, the first school bus, the first sleepover, in other words, every small step that takes your baby away .

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~~~ The two men stood on the lonely lighthouse.

Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant.

Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water.

They sprang into action.

Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man.

At last they got him aboard.

"It's a good thing you rescued me," the dripping man said gratefully.

"I was coming out to see you about your income tax.

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Todays thought: People will believe most anything that is whispered to another.

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Good Morning ...everyone..... I guess I an't doing too good....
only three or four readers every day.....thats bad.......
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Yeh.....it's raining on my head too...........
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Even the one I bet on is last.....oh well, A day late and a dollar short!

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I don't know if I would try that..........

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A right sized cow.....Here they call them Oxen........but he-she is big.....

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A wolf is hiding in sheeps clothing........

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Cat hiding out.............

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Congress......

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♥♥♥

~~~ I'm bald, well, balding.

I like to say "balding" because it sounds more productive.

And I don't like to say I'm losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had I been more responsible, this wouldn't have happened.

"Where's your hair?"

I lost it.

You know me.

Where are my keys?"

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~~~ Dale Berra, Pittsburgh Pirate shortstop and son of noted linguist Yogi Berra, on comparisons between him and his father.

"Our similarities are different."

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~~~ I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was.

She would tell me and was always correct.
It was fun for me, so I continued.

At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandpa, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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~~~ As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3- year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears running down her face.

I said, "What's wrong honey?"

Sad and broken up, she looked at me and said, "Daddy, where are my boogers?".

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~~~ Teacher: How did you get that lump on your head?

Pete: I got hit by some beans.

Teacher: How could some little beans give you such a big lump?

Pete: They were still in the can.

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~~~ The teacher was giving her first grade class a quiz on counting. Carol got things started by counting to ten.

"Now, Al," said the teacher, "you take over by beginning with 11."

"11, 14, 23, 42, 36," said Al.

"What kind of counting is that?" asked the teacher.

"Who's counting?" replied Al.

"I'm calling signals."

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Todays thoughts: Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

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