Sat. 15th ~~~

Driveway to clear of snow.......
Told ya i like this cartoon...
Now you know that hurt....saw a man walk through once..
When we landed...I would have to change underwear.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns?

Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music."

~~~

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.

~~~

Jake is 5 and learning to read.

He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,"Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!"
Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama!It says so on the picture!" and so it does ...
"A f r i c a n Elephant "
Hooked on phonics strikes again

Dec. 14th ~~~

A Foggy sunrise this morning..Snow and other goodies
start Saturday evening. Ruby's rats..........
Works Cheap.........
The new "Kitt" -Ford Mustang. In the Movie Knightrider.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 blondes were decorating a house.
One was painting the ceiling while the other painted the walls.
After a while, the one painting the walls said, "Have you got a good grip on your brush?"
"Yes" came the reply.
"Well hold on tight then because I'm taking away the ladder."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paleontologists in Argentina have discovered the fossilized remainsof a snake that had two legs. They say it's a direct ancestor of the modern lawyer.

Thursday~~

Town Drunks................
A redneck Drink.....Hey..Pete want me to send you some ?
Now this is cool................
Boy ! I don't like his looks................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seniors are the nations leading carrier of aids?
hearing aids ....
band aids ........
walking aids ...
medical aids ...
government aids
Most of all-------
monetary aid for their kids!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you believe it was sunny, and 75 degrees yesterday.
but big storm comming Saturday.

Wednesday~~

She's got her eyes open....Sadie the watch dog!
I thought this was a very nice picture..
Bean Burritos... Elephant...What a thought..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up.
The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but no response.
After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.
The dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well.
"How old are you?"
No response.
The dentist then asked, "Don't you know how old you are?"
Immediately four tiny fingers went up.
"Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?"
Four little fingers went up once again.
Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you talk?"
The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, "Can you count?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you know ..
The story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reinder was written specifically as a sales gimmick
for the Montgomery Ward Company in 1939 by one of their employees,
Robert L. May.
The little book was given freely to every customer who shopped there during the holiday season.

Tuesday~~~

This footwear comes without any cover.
No straps, no heels, no laces.
Your naked feet is fully visible (and susceptible) to the elements.
In fact, it will feel like walking barefooted, only in this case, the floor sticks to your feet.
This uncovered and unconventional slipper is made of a soft molded rubber that promises to cling to your feet even while you are chasing after a bus.

Somehow this reminds me of someone.......
Wyant~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~7 months

A letter from Santa;

Dear Friends I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas", but we had a little problem up here. The twelve fiddlers fiddling, have all come down with VD from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing. The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up the eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers playing, have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans a swimming. The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, have me up to my ass in bird ••••. On top of all this, Mrs. Clause is going through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined The Gay Liberation Front, and those dumb Newfoundlanders have scheduled Christmas for the 5th Of February.
Sincerely, Santa

Now a riddle ?

What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?:ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.
Noel, Noel (no l, no l)

Monday~~~~

I bet it's fast.........


Can you believe......
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex
near the base where he was working.
Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy.
This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone.
She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.
"Give this to your husband,"
he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands.
"He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

Sunday~~~~

Warning........
It's a bird....It's a plane...no It's........
No comment..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.
The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure
the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale,
then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"That won't work," countered the woman."
I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Yankee from Massachusetts was hiking through the mountains of Virginia when he came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life.
Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door.
"Anybody home?" he asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the tourist.
"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma come in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the tourist.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.
"But," protested the Yankee, "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid thru the door.
"This here is the outhouse."

Saturday ~~~

Snowman got cought pickin his nose ~
Pete's redneck caterters~
These guy's ate at Pete's redneck road kill Grill and Rib joint~


I had to get a new watch.
I was helping a vet dip some animals and my watch came off my wrist and fell in the sheep dip.

It killed the ticks !
Now it loses 30 minutes every hour...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During a home renovation, my grandfather was watching me drive in nails.
"You hammer like lightning," he said to me.
"Really?" I replied, flattered."
Yea....You never strike the same place twice."

December 7th.

December 7, 1941.."A date that will live in infamy"
December 7th....the 66th anniversary of the bombing of Hawaii by Japanese planes.
Over 2500 died that fateful Sunday morning.
Let's never forget the souls lost that Sunday morning: army, navy, army air corps, marines, and civilians... and hope that type of attack or another 9/11 never hits our shores again!
Kudos to all the brave miliary, past and present, who risk their all for us, some giving the ultimate sacrifice.
We Salute you......

You know...I was sitting here thinking about Dec. 7 th.

When we heard the news...I was about 7 years old.....but I remember that

Sunday. My brother and I were at the 3:00 moves on the base. Just after the movie started, the show stopped and the lights came on and an announcement came over the speakers,

"All base personal are to report to their stations. All leaves are cancelled. Pearl Harbor has just been attacked by the Japanese navy.

I didn't were Pearl Harbor was or what, but I knew it was bad because the Marines

had all left. When we got home Mom was listening to our big old RCA green eyed radio. We spent the next couple days with our ears glued to the radio.

Thursday~~~

can you hear me now ??
Close fly by.....
Can you find the man's head ??
Well we got our snow, but it didn't amount to much. We got 1/2 inch.
And it got down to 32º. Supposed to get down to 19º tonite.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question....What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?

Krisp Kringle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRIGG....

No, it’s not a swear word... it’s the name of the Scandinavian love goddess who removed poison from mistletoe, bringing her son, Baldur, back to life. She was so happy, she made mistletoe a sign of love. So, buy a sprig and pucker up!

Wednesday~~~

This mornings "Sunrise".
The light in the picture is a street light.
It was still dark out when I took the picture.















Damn...I like "Pringles" too....But.

Todays Funny:
After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes we have, your honor," the foreman responded. "Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court." "We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," states the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude.
The defendant's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says, "Does this mean I get to keep the money?"

Tuesday ~~~

Neat way to put up Christmas lights

Tommy watchin me take sunrise pics. he's on a fence post !

Wonder what happens in stormy weather ??
Bad to the Bone..

Well their calling for some snow, then rain tomorrow.

We need it.

I guess the stores will be full of people getting milk,bread and stuff.

Everytime the weatherman says the word "Snow" they go crazy here...

But no one slows down, so they'll be cars in the ditch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in a bank when a man entered with a rather large dog on a leash.

When he asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the building, a bank official answered, "Yes, provided he doesn't make a large deposit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Groan...............

A good way to go under anesthesia before they wheel you into theoperating room is to think some happy thoughts.

I like Christmas so I conjure up an image of St. Nicholas.

When I head into surgery I'm gonna take a Santa mental gurney.

Monday~~~

This mornings sunrise.....
I really like Eno....poor bastard!
Jimmy is 5 and learning to read.
He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,"Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!"
Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama!
It says so on the picture!"
and so it does ...
"A f r i c a n Elephant "
Hooked on phonics strikes again.......

~~~~~~~~~~

CNN said that after the war,
there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts:
regular, premium and unleaded.

Well we didn't get any of the storm...only a little rain (we need more)
Also met another e-mail friend...nice Lady from Ga. ~Hi "Belle"~

Sunday~~~

Bad hair day Mm..Mm good....

Well, we're getting some rain, We need it pretty bad..

Ten-year-old daughter Rachel has been learning about puberty in health class and has been voicing her concerns about the inevitable, upcoming changes of adolescence.
Her nine-year-old brother, Alex, could not understand what the fuss was about until, one day at a restaurant, he realized the kids' menu was only for children under ten.
"No wonder she doesn't want to go through puberty!" Alex exclaimed loudly.
"You don't get dessert included with your meals!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady and a gentleman were arguing on every subject they discussed.
Said the lady, "Sir, we cannot agree on a single thing."
"You are wrong, Madam" he said.
"If you should go into a room in which there were two beds, one with a woman in it and the other with a man in it, with whom would sleep?"
"Why, with the lady, of course."
"You see, so would I."

Saturday~~~

Dec.1... Sunrise this morning
Sadie........

Notice....
"Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped in a rubber band,
please report to the Lost & Found Department...........
We found your rubber band."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS THANKSGIVING I'M THANKFUL...
That I'm not a turkey.
That teenagers ultimately will have children who will become teenagers.
That snow covers the unraked leaves.
That hugs and kisses don't add weight or cause cancer.
That DVDs and radios and TV sets and washers and mixers and lights can be turned off.
That no one can turn off the moon and stars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Abby:
I have always wanted to have my family history traced,
but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it.
Any suggestions?
Sam in California
Dear Sam:
Yes................ Run for public office.
Abby

looks like he would feel a breeze....
looks like their hungry....Dumpster diving..

I have this very real fear---- that come election day next year we will once again be asked to choose between..... leukemia or colon cancer.

Christmas Songs for Dogs
1. Grandma Got Run Over by a Rottweiler
2. We Three Canines
3. Oh, Holy Fire Hydrant
4. Duke, the Red Nosed Doberman
5. Sniffing Around the Christmas Tree
6. Jingle Bones
7. Wreck the Halls!
8. I Saw Mommy Licking Santa Claus
9. Away in a Dog House
10. All I Want For Xmas is My Own Chew Toy

You know that'll hurt......
Another old Ad.......she must have farted.......

When my daughter caught only one perch on her fishing trip,
not enough for even a modest lunch,
we decided to feed it to her two cats.
She put her catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets
sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it.
Thinking quickly, my daughter then picked up the dish,
walked over to the electric can opener,
ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down.
The cats dug right in.