Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

'Yo Momma is so fat....
That the police told her to quit wearing her
Malcom X jackets 'cause they were afraid
helicopters were gonna land on her back....
 

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Whenever you're having a bad day...
think of the poor guy who has to put the circus
tent back in its bag.

 

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Why do politicians envy ventriloquists ?
Because they can lie without moving their lips.

 

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If you like internet jokes, you should see my
online bank account...

 

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Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think,
"Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."

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I’m worried about your heart murmur,” the doc
told Jack.
“I’ve always had a heart murmur,” Jack protested.
“Yeah,” replied the doc, “but now the murmur
has started humming.”
“That doesn’t sound good!” Jack was getting
worried now.
“It’s worse than you think,” the doc said.
“It’s humming ‘Nearer My God to Thee."

 

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I enjoy jogging in the mountains because nature
is beautiful and cardiac arrest excites me.

 

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For those of you who know Morse code -
Irish dancing must drive you mad.

Before Google, people had to go out in the alley
and yell "WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE
MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?" until they got
some answers.

 

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They just found a sword swallower dead.
The police suspect it's an inside job.”

 

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You should know you'll get loud when you start
drinking.
It says right there on the label:
"alcohol by volume".

 

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