Down Hummingbird Lane

☺☺

 

••

♥

A pint of ice cream shouldn't have an expiration
date.
It should just say "We both know this will be gone
by the end of the night"

 

•• 

It was only her second date with a diehard
baseball fan, and Sally was a little nervous.
It was her fault they arrived at the ballpark a
full hour after the game had started.
Taking her seat, Sally glanced up at the
scoreboard. It was a tight pitcher’s battle,
bottom of the fifth, 0-0.
“Look, John,” she exclaimed with relief,
“we haven’t missed a thing.” 

 

••

Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please
don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31

 

••

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
True, and they have many other fine qualities
as well."
"You will always be lucky if you know how to
make friends with strange cats."
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never
does any harm to ask for what you want."

 

••
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"
"My husband said it was either him or the cat ...
I miss him sometimes."

 

••
"Dogs have owners....cats have a staff".

 

••

 

Ever notice when people reach a certain age,
they repeat everything they say.
They repeat everything they say.

 

••

I fell in love at first sight.
I should have looked twice.

 

••

Grocery shopping is kind of like going to college.
You go in with a plan of what you going to and
you end up leaving with something that wasn't
worth the trip.

 

••

Me: I've lost my kitten..
Cop: How would you best describe him?
Me: He looks like a miniature cat...

 

••

WHAT DO WE WANT?
 AN END TO AUTO-CORRECT ERRORS!
 WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
 COW!!!!

 

••••