Someone has two much time on their hands....
Just taking it easy with my pet......
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♥
If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today
that she forgot her mobile at home.
You're welcome.
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We've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West…
I'm surprised that other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S.
••
The Surgeon General said more Americans
should start going on walks. Then to everyone's surprise, he added,
"Even if you're just going out to have a smoke."
••
For her birthday, my wife said "I want something
that goes around my finger and is sparkly." She'll love the LED yo-yo I got her.
••
Did you hear about the baby that was born in a
high tech. hospital?It came out cordless!
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My local supermarket uses four checkout lanes.
Unless it's really busy, then they use one.
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Some choices are easier than others:
An emergency doctor's appt vs a much neededhair appt.
At least if I die my hair will be cute.
••
Enjoying her vacation in Hawaii, Lisa called a
café to make reservations for 7 P.M. Checking her book, the cheery hostess said,
"I'm sorry, but all we have is 6:45.
Would you like that?"
"That's fine, " Lisa said.
"Okay," the woman confirmed.
Then she added, "Just be advised that you may
have to wait 15 minutes for your table."
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[5-year-old and 3-year-old screaming at each
other]Me: Is that how your mom and I settle
arguments?
5: You want me to sleep on the couch?
••
ATMs should have breathalyzers...
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