Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide
ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.

 

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A policeman pulled me over as I drove through
the red-light district.
He said, "Looking for a good time were we, sir?"
I said, "Why, how much do you charge?"

 

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‘If more than one mouse is mice,
 then more than one Spouse is Spice.’

 

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Women are like Fruits…
Every one has its unique colour, shape, aroma
and taste….
Problem is with men…!
They want....FRUIT SALAD..!!

 

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Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me
off my feet.
Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around
forehead*
 

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Definition of honeymoon:
 a man’s last holiday
 before he starts working
 for a new boss !!

 

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I said to my wife, "Please get me a newspaper."
"Don't be silly," she replied, "you can borrow my
iPad."
That spider never knew what the hell hit it.

 

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Well our worst fears have been confirmed this
morning, my wife is allergic to our Springer
Spaniel.
I know this isn't a re homing site, but could
somebody please find it in their heart to help her
out and find her a new home?
Her name is Claire and she is 45!!

 

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Me: I feel skinnier today!
Scale: Nope.

 

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My wife told me that I am very cynical.
That's totally not true, and I don't trust or believe
her anyway.

 

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