Saturday, December 20, 2014

#2560

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A nice Painting....

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confucious say..... 
If only one dim light bulb is in room it still 
thinks its the brightest.....

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After his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was 
particularly irritable, especially regarding food. 
At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal 
and the waiter provided a bowl of soup.
As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!"
"Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.
"I beg your pardon, sir?"
"Taste it."
"But, sir, I can assure you that the soup is 
excellent."
"Taste it," Pa persisted.
"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
"Taste it!"
The exasperated waiter finally relented, "All right, 
sir, I'll taste it." 
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "

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A sign in Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND 
WEEKENDS TOO......

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you say "sitting in your parents' basement 
wearing pajamas" like it's a bad thing......

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My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. 
One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." 
The doctor gave him some pills and said, 
"Here, take these — 
If they don't work, give me a ring." 

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 I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard 
today, but those of you in North America already 
know that because you heard me scream.... 

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A flying saucer landed on Earth, and  a really 
strange looking alien walked out of it with a 
turquoise face, orange arms, yellow hands, blue 
legs, red feet and a bright green head. 
It said 'We have learned to speak your language 
from studying your radio and TV signals. 
We have come to your planet as part of a mission 
to end prejudice against colored people'.

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I have been questioning my intelligence lately 
and I have decided that I am a humble genius....

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If someone buys your young child drums it 
isn't because they think he's musical, 
it's because they hate you.

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One of the reasons al-Qaida is upset with the 
United States is because we are giving aid to 
Yemen. 
We didn’t have a choice. 
When life hands you Yemen, you give them 
Yemen aid. 

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[Dollar Store Interview]
 "What are your qualifications?"
[Slides over a dollar]
 "Cashier job is yours"
[Slides $2]
 "Welcome to Management"

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