Somethings not right....
Likes Pickles....
I don't wanna sit in this chair...
••
♥
A guy walked into his friend's office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking
depressed.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" he asked.
"Oh, it's my wife," replied the man with a sigh.
"She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said.
"Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He's bald."
••
The cost of living is going up and the chance of
living is going down."
-- Flip Wilson
••
Wal-Mart plans to open its first retail stores in
China.
Tags on clothes and stickers on items will read
"Made Here".
••
“Murder with knives is very messy, and I suggest
not taking a stab at it.”
••
Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing
between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab
whatever is available.
••
What's the difference between an aerospace
engineer and a civil engineer?
One builds weapons, the other builds targets.
••
Happy wife, happy life is a threat that all women
believe is their right.
••
I said to the Dr., "Could I have a prescription
for some pain pills.
I always get pains in my wrist after sex."
He said, "How long do they last?"
I said, "Usually until the police remove the
handcuffs."
••
How is a thong like barbed-wire fence?
It protect the property without obstructing the
view.
••
The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine
a day" thing is going really great.
I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
••
The year is 2030: All corporations have merged
and every night before bed you say a prayer to
your cable company.
••
Anybody want to invest?
I have a large sum of money waiting for me in
Nigeria.
Unfortunately, by Nigerian law, I have to pay
the barrister $10,000 in advance to adjudicate
a foreign inheritance payment.
Big bucks could be waiting for both of us.
Let me know.
••
Hell hath no fury...
like a woman tagged in a Facebook photo that
makes her look fat.
••••
