••
♥
A new study found that dogs can actually feel
genuine love for their owners.
While cats just keep a journal of all the things
they hate about you.
••
Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how
easy it is to grow your own food.
All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time
federal employees....
••
A husband and a wife were sleeping.
Suddenly, a sound of a car screeching was heard
outside.
The wife woke up and shouted, "Oh it must be
my husband!"
The husband woke up after he hear his wife's
words and ran off to hide in a bush outside.
Moments later, the husband came in, angry.
Husband: "What do you mean 'Oh it must be my
husband!'.
Are you saying you have other men over?"
Wife: "Well, then why did you run away?"
••
What do you call immigrants to Sweden?
Artificial Swedeners
••
If a waitress doesn't have a visible tattoo,
the restaurant is usually too expensive for me.
••
One of the reasons al-Qaida is upset with the
United States is because we are giving aid to
Yemen.
We didn’t have a choice.
When life hands you Yemen, you give them
Yemen aid.
••
the lost car keys......
They weren't in my pockets.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the
car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My husband has scolded me many times for
leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
He's afraid that the car could be stolen.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he
was right.
The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, confessed that I had
left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my
husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been
stolen."
There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but
then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?"
he barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this
cop that I didn't steal your car!"
••
I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen
shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone
was.
••
An NFL player is in big trouble for making a
comment at a country music concert that's
offensive to black people.
His comment was, "I enjoy country music."...
••
Just got out of the shower and realized I forgot
to wash my butt.
Oh well, there's always next Saturday.
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