••
♥
My daughter, filling out a college app, called
me at home to get my home number.
Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my
gene pool.
••
My wife told me not to say anything about
her friend's lazy eye, so I made sure to give
numerous compliments on her super-athletic one.
••
One girl went to a electronic shop in anger and
threw her new laptop on the desk at a person
from whom she bought it.
She told the salesman that you have… cheated
me.
I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop..
Salesman : Madam, can you please try in front
of me.
This is what She did,
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which
she wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it
to the other PC where she wanted to copy that
file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the
PASTE option.
Salesman fainted….
••
To the first two people who thought Superman
was a bird or a plane...
why the hell were you so excited?
••
Marriage harassment is no joke!
Speak up about it!
Don't tolerate a hostile environment!
••
I'm not necessarily saying that I am or am not a
super hero, but I do occasionally stand with
my hands on my hips.
••
Captain America outsources much of his crime
fighting to Captain India.
••
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the
same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that
they had to pass this law?)
••
I work with a guy named Rick.
I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."
••
I was in the six item express lane at the store
quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead
of me had slipped into the check-out line
pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned
the woman to come forward looked into the
cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items
would you like to buy?"
••
Eating clocks is probably the most
time consuming thing you could ever do.
••••
