••
♥
I wonder if God ever looks down at the waste
I've made of my life and thinks to Himself,
"He should have been an opossum."
••
Your age shows how many laps you've done
around the Sun while riding Earth...
••
Walmart cards.....
They have a section called, New Baby.
I don't think you need the word new.
Theyd have to clear up confusion.
Do you have an Old Baby section?
Cause my friends had a baby, and I
let time get away from me, and he's 12.
••
“When I opened the first snow-pea pod,
one fell out and rolled under the fridge.
One might say it was an escapea.”
••
The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the
hand that bites it.
••
Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles.
Diets are hard.
••
My son went over to a friend's house & his mom
asked us when we wanted him home.
From her expression, I think she was expecting a
time, not a day.
••
Dentists make a lot of money on bad teeth.
Why should I trust the toothpaste they
recommend ?
••
Justin Bieber is coming out with an 'Unplugged
album'?
I hope it's the microphone that they unplug.
••
I love therapy sessions because
I get to cry for an hour.
It usually freaks out my patients, though.
••
The cheapest way to have your family tree traced
is to run for a public office.
••••
