••
♥
Ebola would seem a lot less threatening....
if they used a Swiss horn every time they said it.
••
Ebola is a Mexican word, lookie here....
Pablo went bowling and EBOLA perfect game..
••
A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional
booth in Jacksonville.
He tells the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have
sinned.
Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama
supporter.”
The priest says, “My son, I’m here to forgive your
sins, not to discuss your community service.”
••
Almost yelled "F.U." at another driver, but
the kid was in the car.
So I yelled, "I'm dedicated to customer service,"
like the airlines do.
••
He who asks is a fool for five minutes,
but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."
-- Chinese Proverb
••
A man being audited is sitting in an IRS agent's
office.
The agent says, "I see you own a sandwich shop
in New York City?"
"That's right," the man replies.
The agent continues, "And you're declaring
$120,000 income?"
"Yes, sir," the man says, "Is there a problem with
that?"
"No," the agent answers.
"But I do have a question about a certain
deduction.
It says here you want to deduct a trip to Tahiti
as a business expense."
"Ah," the man says.....
"Did I mention we deliver EVERYWHERE?"
••
"The best defense against the atom bomb is not to
be there when it goes off."
••
A teacher asked her students to use the word
"beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows beans," said one girl.
"My mother cooks beans," said a boy.
A third student spoke up,
"We are all human beans."
••
Late one night at the insane asylum one patient
shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
A person in another room said, "How do you
know?"
The first patient said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted,
"I did not!"
••••
