But he looks so Cool....
Care for a hot dog?
••
♥
"That's the trouble with a politician's life-
somebody is always interrupting it with an
election."
-- Will Rogers
••
Going to Arizona in 2 weeks.
Better bring my passport in case I accidentally get
a tan.
••
People always demand to know who farted as if
they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's
responsible.
••
When you are down in the dumps and think you
have real problems, just remember:
SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD, THERE IS A
POOR BASTARD NAMED..
MR. PELOSI!
••
Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting
for their bus.
The buses were running late, and a lot of time
passed.
Finally, one woman turned to the other and said,
"You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt
fell asleep!'.
The other woman turned to her and said
"I know! I heard it snoring!"
••
“I had an account with a bank in the North Pole,
but they froze all my assets.”
••
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
••
People assume when I yawn that I've lost
interest in what they have to say but truth be told,
I was never interested.
••
Groaner.....
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of
them dropped his wallet.
As they watched the wallet float down to the
depths of the lake, a carp came along and
snatched up the wallet.
Soon came another carp who stole it away and
then a third joined in.
Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first
time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."
••
Asking this blind guy at the restaurant if he once
masturbated too much didn't quite draw the laughs
I'd hoped for....
••
One Friday night, a 13-year-old boy went into a
bar and sat down at a table in the corner of the
pool room.
When the waitress walked over to his table,
the teenager said: "Gimme a beer."
The waitress eyed him for a moment and said:
"Look, sonny..... Do you want to get me in trouble?"
The boy glanced back at her and replied: "Maybe
later.
Right now all I want is a beer."
••
"You're never alone.":
A phrase that's maybe cute to find in a love note,
but horrifying to find smeared on a fogged up
bathroom mirror.
••••
