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Chicken cover for iphone....
••
♥
Whenever a stranger asked Little Johnny his
name, he would reply: “ I am Jim Brown’s son.”
His mother overheard him one day, and started
to correct him.
“ You should not say that.
Give your real name.”
A few days later someone asked him,
“ Aren’t you Jim Brown’s son?”
“ I thought I was, but Mother says I’m not.”
••
Lynn saz:
I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like
a modern day glass slipper.
Some day my prince will come.
••
This medicine says I should not operate heavy
machinery, so I guess I won't be doing laundry
for the next two weeks.
Safety first...
••
Dear smartphone owners, that blurred bit at the
edge of the screen is called life.
••
NASA
Sent a shuttle into space with two monkeys and
an astronaut on board.
After months of training, they placed all three in
the shuttle and prepared for launch.
Mission Control Center announced, "This is
Mission Control to Monkey One.
Do your stuff."
The first monkey began frantically typing and the
shuttle took off.
Two hours later, NASA's mission control center
announced, "This is Mission Control to Monkey
Two.
Do your stuff."
The second monkey started typing like mad and
the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.
Another two hours later Mission Control Center
announced, "This is Mission Control to Astronaut... "
At this, the astronaut shouted "I know, I know --
feed the monkeys and don't touch anything."
••
Can you believe this guy watching porn on the
bus over my shoulder?
••
The thing about Workaholics Anonymous is...
if you have time to come to the meetings,
you don't really have a problem.
••
At the planetarium with my family.
I think my wife was surprised to discover she's
not the center of the universe.
••
If procrastination was an Olympic sport,
I'd compete in it...later.
••
All men approve of premarital sex...
until they have a daughter.
••••
