Snake cake.....
••
♥
"Nobody knows the age of the human race,
but everybody agrees that it is old enough to
know better."
••
A graduate with a science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
A graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
A graduate with an accounting degree asks,
"How much it cost?"
A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries with that?"
••
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight,
visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
••
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from
the market.
I went and looked around and couldn't find any.
So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said,
"These vegetables are for my wife.
Have they been sprayed with any poisonous
chemicals?"
The produce guy looked at me and said, "No.
You'll have to do that yourself."
••
Your lips are so chapped, I can hear you smile.
••
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some
strands were more important than others.
••
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to
his doctor for a complete check-up.
Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the
doctor says.
"You're dying, and you don't have much time
left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man.
"How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks.
"Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
The doctor interrupts, "Nine..."
••
The worst is when you text someone and they text you
back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and
emailed their secrets to everyone.
••
Some people are down to earth while others are
not quite far down enough.
••
Ladies, don't tell me you care about the
environment if you don't support my "Share a
Shower" water conservation program.
••••
