••
♥
"The phrase "action speaks louder than words,"
is most easily proven by a swift kick to the genitals."
-- Devin J. Monroe
••
Q: Why did Senator Hillary Clinton decide to run
for office?
A: She'd already been president for 8 years.
••
Chuck Norris got shot.
We are now in the hospital, where the bullet is in
critical condition.
••
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful
girl.
She said "I will text you when I get home".
I think she's homeless.
••
A man's house is on fire.
He runs out of the house with his son and tells
him to wait outside.
Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and
brings her outside.
Then his wife.
Then the dog.
Then he goes back in a couple of times without
bringing out anybody.
So a fireman asks him, "Why are you going back
in there?"
The man replies,
"I'm turning over my mother-in-law."
••
The whole argument is -- when does life begin?
Does it begin at conception, or does it begin when
the baby is an embryo?
Anybody with children knows life with them don't
begin til they can pay their own damn bills.
••
Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
Me: You thought I was black?
Cop: Haha. Yep. You're free to go sir.
••
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams,
as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out
of my house when they're 21.....
••
You can buy wedding cake even if there's no
wedding, those suckers don't even check.
••
CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget
shaped like Rafael.
Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade.
Serious offers only.
No Michelangelo's.
••
Local towns in the state are having all types of
festivals such as the strawberry festival, the
blueberry festival, the blackberry festival, etc.
in order to help stimulate the local area economy.
The little town where I live wanted citizens to
suggest such a festival for our small town ...
I suggested having a dingleberry festival ...
t was turned down!.
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