packing for one night.....
••
♥
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
-- Yogi Berra
••
My Mom's voice' was so loud even the neighbors
washed their hands and cleaned their rooms.
••
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk
to school as a boy
••
A lady walks into a grocery store and asks the stock
boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, "No, ma'am."
She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you
really expect me to have dates?"
••
Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!
••
"My uncle ran for Senate last year."
"Really? What does he do now?"
"Nothing. He got elected."
••
Men have selective hearing.....
Give them instructions for roasted turkey &
they'll remember "breast, thighs, moist & hot".
••
My dad discovered the Internet.
Uh, just because someone raised you, does not
mean that you have to add them on Facebook.
••
It was three o'clock in the morning, and the
receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off,
when a little old lady comes running towards her
screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled,
"I just saw a naked man outside my window!"
The receptionist immediately rushes up to the
old lady's room.
"Where is he?" asked the receptionist.
"He's over there," replied the little old lady,
pointing to an apartment building opposite the
hotel.
The receptionist looks over and could see a man
with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.
"It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to
bed," she said reassuringly.
"And how do you know he's naked, you can only
see him from the waist up?"
"The dresser, honey!" screamed the old lady.
"Try standing on the dresser!"
••
Susie came home from her first day at school.
Her mother said, "Well, Honey, what did you learn
today?"
"Not enough, I guess....
They want me to come back again tomorrow."
••
I had a friend from North Korea.
When I asked him how the country was, he said,
"I can't complain..."
••••
