Another great job ..B.J.
••
♥
"All the President is, is a glorified public relations
man who spends his time flattering, kissing and
kicking people to get them to do what they are
supposed to do anyway."
-- Harry S Truman
••
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.
I think I have it cuz I'm going to the liquor store
and I'm scared that it might be closed.
••
Wife smelled eggs and thought I was bringing her
breakfast in bed.
How do I tell her I was only having gas?
••
Pre-Deployment Training to take Place in
Chicago and Detroit
THE PENTAGON - Troops headed overseas will
soon be offered the most realistic combat training
yet, as Pentagon officials announced late Friday
that pre-deployment training would take place in
Detroit and Chicago.
"We wanted to offer our soldiers and Marines
realistic urban environments, a local populace
that hates police and other government officials,
and lots of gunfire," said Lt. Col. Mike Hayes,
an Army spokesman.
"Hell, you hit more than those three if you walk in
Flint, Michigan after dark."
Pentagon sources confirmed that Detroit and
Chicago offer much better training opportunities
than built-up towns of cardboard boxes filled with
actors playing Afghan insurgents.
"Instead, now we have an ultra-realistic city,
bullets, and real gunshot wounds to soldiers who
happen to roll into the wrong gang territory,
"Hayes said.
"Think of how much better our medics are going
to be."
In addition to gang retaliation and gunshot
wounds, soldiers training at Detroit's six-week
infrastructure rebuilding and destabilizing course
will learn to master providing electricity, water,
and other basic services to the civilian populace
while being stifled by realistic government
corruption and mismanagement.
"I'm convinced that by the time these troops get
overseas after training in these shitholes,
Afghanistan will be a piece of cake," Hayes said...
••
Is karate for amputees called partial arts?
••
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers,
space is finite.
This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for
people who can never remember where they have
left things."
-- Woody Allen
••
Just heard NASA are sending 4 women
into space today.
They're just trying to prove that no space is big
enough for a woman to park in.
••
People in glass cake shops.
Shouldn't throw scones......
••
I put a dart board on the ceiling yesterday but
I don't like using it because it makes me throw up.
••
I've almost bought my own clothes back from a thrift
store.
Have you done that one yet?
You know, like, Oh, this shirts great, it reminds me
of something I used to -- oh, damn it.
♦♦♦♦
