••
♥
"If everything seems under control, you're not going
fast enough -- Mario Andretti
••
When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all
the lights and pretends no one is home.
••
Confucius say...
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge,
you just gargled."
••
I don't want buns of steel.
I want buns of cinnamon.
••
Three rules for having good teeth:
brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice
a year, and keep your nose out of other people's
business.
••
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov
(world chess champion) and there was a checkered
tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
••
If you like to speak in different languages
while high off marijuana, you're probably
Rosetta Stoned.
••
Christian Mingle: God has hidden a spouse for you
on our website.
Pay us $30 and see if you can find them.
••
Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking
their dog.
••
Somebody left a baby at my front door today,
and I have no idea what to do with it.
I just hope it's gone by tomorrow.
••
I thought I just had a bad headache but....
according to WebMD, I'm a conjoined twin slowly
dying from jaundice.
••••
