••
♥
"He had discovered a great law of human action,
without knowing it - namely, that in order to make
a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to
make the thing difficult to obtain."
-- Mark Twain
••
I'm not afraid of identity theft....
Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my
dad call you a failure.
••
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note
on my bank statement so he knows not to bother
calling.
••
The allergy season was so bad this year that
I heard on the news the local drug dealers are
converting meth back into Sudafed.
••
Did you hear about the paperboy who got caught
masturbating at work?
It's all over the news.
••
If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee
that morning.
They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm
one of them.
••
I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings.
Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though.
••
I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us
Kentuckians.
It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Daddy.....
••
Just asked my hairstylist for the "Bieber."
He shaved off all my pubic hair.
••
Had great idea for site for recent law grads
called BarelyLegal .com.
Turns out name was already taken.
And their idea was much better......
••
Overslept this morning and missed church for the
last 15 years.
••••
