••
♥
I've taken up speed reading.
I can read 'War and Peace' in 20 seconds.
It's only 3 words but it's a start.
••
The reason why most buildings in DC
have lobbies is because of the influence of the lobby
lobby.
••
"Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who
insist that there is no God."
••
Every day I beat my own previous record
for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
••
Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her.
Any time she hears a noise she is purified.
Petrified!
Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
••
My surgeon said NO drinking for 24 hours,
then we both laughed......
••
When a bachelor marries, his wife has three
qualities -
she is an economist in the kitchen,
an aristocrat in the living room
and a devil in the bedroom.
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities
remain, but not in the same order -
she is an aristocrat in the kitchen,
a devil in the living room and an economist in
bed.
••
'I am' is the shortest sentence
in the English Language.
'I do' is the longest.
••
Asked what I look for in a relationship.
Apparently, "A way out" wasn't the right answer.
••
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include
bail?
••
Two women we
are sitting at a bar.
One said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think
the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "that will certainly revolutionize
the game of hockey!"
••
Always and never are two words
you should always remember never to use.
••••
