••
♥
"Washington Redskins" is such a derisive name
for a team.
I suggest that they move 5 miles south and call
themselves "Virginia Redskins"
••
BREAKING: US Patent Office revokes trademarks
on "Green Bay Packers" name; says it offends gay
people.
••
A woman at work told me I look younger with my
glasses off.
I told her she looked younger with my glasses off,
too.
••
I order the club sandwich all the time
and I’m not even a member.
I don’t know how I get away with it.
••
I'm supposed to back up my hard drive,
but how do I put it into reverse?
••
Help me to always give 100% at work. . .
12% on Monday.
23% on Tuesday.
40% on Wednesday.
20% on Thursday.
5% on Friday.
••
And help me to remember. . .
When I'm having a really bad day,and it seems
that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes
42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my
middle finger and tell them to bite me!
••
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day.
So no, I didn't just "lay in bed and watch TV
all day".
I traveled very far, thank you.
••
People who say gays are destroying the fabric of
society have obviously never seen what a gay man
can do with fabric.
••
You guys know I'm not one to brag, but
my cooking is "to die from."
I cry when I cut my carrots because I don't want
my onions to feel awkward.
••
There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.
••
I'm currently in a very serious relationship.
We don't even smile.
••••
