That's not gonna feel good.....
Hide and seek??
••
♥
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day.
It said 'Please leave this toilet in the condition
that you would have liked to have found it in.'
So I left it with a porn mag...
••
*wife phones*
"Hi!"
"Hi! Did you clean the house?"
"Uhh...YUP!"
"OK, I'm coming home... Need anything?"
"Yes, about 2 hours."
••
If I ever go missing I want my picture on a
40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I
want fun people to find me.
••
Jack LaLanne died three years ago
and he's still in better shape than I am.....
••
What does it mean to come home for love
tenderness compassion, understanding
and great sex ?
It means you're in the wrong house!
••
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own
umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped
him on the ass.
••
New neighbors just moved in...I baked them
some goodies as a welcome, & a warning to never
eat at my house.
••
My Love-making lasts for one full hour!
It's true.
Sadly it consists of 45 minutes of begging
followed by 15 minutes of apologizing.
••
"Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty
sure you were dropped on your head as a child."
••
As the end of the day drew near, the handsome
executive called his newly hired assistant into
his office. "Do you know what time we quit
around here ?" he asked.
"Sure !" the girl nervously giggled.
"Whenever somebody knocks on the door."
••
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Kruger nightmares.
••••
